Reverberations
by KBecks87
Summary: Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia meet on the Ark. Clarke helps them when they need it, will they return the favor? Met on Ark AU. Bellark.
1. Preamble

Summary: Clarke, Bellamy, and Octavia meet on the Ark. Clarke helps them when they need it, will they return the favor? Met on Ark AU. Bellark.

Weird-But-True: This entire first chapter is pulled from my fic Preamble with small changes. I wanted to keep my OMC and the way Clarke met the Blakes, so I did. Everything after this chapter is new content, feel free to skim if you read the other.

Disclaimer: I don't own anything you want.

* * *

Chapter One: Preamble

Clarke jumps over the rusted-out stair under the sign that advises her that she is entering Factory Station and comes to the door she's looking for. She holds the key card over the sensor on the wall, and when it beeps throws her body weight against it – the door has never been easy to open. "You home?" She shouts setting her newly purchased banana on the kitchen table.

All Ark apartments are identically formatted – four rooms; two bed rooms (one for the parents and one for the child) a bathroom, and a common room (a kitchenette that bleeds into a living room) – identical except for their vastly different sizes. The entire apartments in Factory Station, for example, could fit in the common room on Alpha Station. In Alpha Station, the common area is large enough that they fit a kitchen table by the kitchenette as well a sofa, love seat, and a chair in front of a large coffee table and a television. You could never fit that here; they were lucky to get a table that folded down from the wall, a beat-up sofa, and a small coffee table from the exchange in the common room here.

She walks to what is intended to be the child's room, they use it as her room, and sheds her jacket, throwing it on the bed before grabbing a hair tie out of the drawer and pulling her hair into a pony tail. She wants to take a shower, but water use is limited and they live by a turn system…it's his. Instead she washes her face in the sink in the bathroom and sighs. She's walking back to the common room as the door opens. "Hey"

"Hey" Avery says, glancing up at her while hanging his key card on the wall by hers.

"You look disgusting" she says. He rolls his eyes even though it's true – he's covered in grease and dirt. She goes to the table and grabs the banana, smiles when his eyes widen, peels it and breaks it in half. She hands him half and smiles at the way it takes him forever to eat it, relishing every bite.

He catches her amusement, "Hey, not everyone has constant access to fresh foods" he says around a bite chuckling when her head dips and she blushes – her status, perceived or otherwise, always managing to embarrass her. "I'm gonna shower" he says, finishing his piece and pushing past her.

"Good" she tosses back, moving to sit on the couch. She pulls out her tablet and calls up a movie that she knows he wants to see. She presses play when he comes out and plops next to her.

When the movie ends, he stands, "I volunteered to go in early tomorrow – I'm going to get to sleep" he says, putting air quotes around 'volunteered'. They exchange 'goodnight's' and he disappears into his room.

* * *

Having one foot in the world of Alpha and one foot in the world of Factory is an odd juxtaposition; a way of living that took some getting used to, though she likes to think she has a pretty good handle on it now. She'd been so angry when she found out that her mother had gotten her father floated that she'd wanted to just leave – but she loved what she was doing with her medical apprenticeship and hadn't wanted to just walk away. And part of her though that if she stayed she'd be able to figure out what exactly her father had been into that had caused so much disruption (though she hadn't been able to yet).

And, if she's being honest, she knows that living on Alpha affords her certain luxuries and opportunities and she would not get if she lived on Factory. Avery grew up on Alpha, but when he had to escape his father, Factory was all he could afford, so he left his engineering apprenticeship and went to work and live on Factory – now he's spoken about like a cautionary tale. Something you tell children to keep them in line.

So instead of leaving, she made a deal with her mother. She'd stand next to Council Woman Griffin when public appearances called for it (Avery called it 'kissing the ring') and act, for the outside world, like all was fine. Additionally, she'd sleep at home on Alpha every-so-often and continue her medical apprenticeship. In exchange, she lived with relative freedom. It was not ideal, but it was working so far.

Clarke checks out of medical with a wave to the admittance clerk at the front desk, "Have a nice couple of days off, Clarke" she calls after her. Clarke turns and says thanks before walking out. It's late – around ten, and all she really wants to do is sleep. She's glad to have the next couple of days off, but doesn't really have any plans either. She goes to the Alpha cafeteria and grabs an apple, she's on her way out when she sees Wells.

"Hey" she says, dropping to the seat across from him.

He startles, looking up from his book and breaking out into a smile when he sees her. "Clarke" he greets with a nod. They're not as close as they used to be. His father floated her father, and she knows that is not his fault, but it can be hard to look at him without replaying the memory of her father being sucked out of an air-lock and in to space. But, she still counts him among her closest friends – not that it's a long list. They chat for a while, mostly about easy, light topics, before she continues towards Factory. She grabs another apple on the way out, having had shared her original one with Wells.

She's fishing her key card out of her pocket, fumbling with the comm device that's threatening to fall out with it, when she hears voices from inside the apartment. It comes back to her, all the sudden, that Avery told her he was going to ask out a girl he worked with, Amelia. Clarke knows her, just barley – they've talked in the cafeteria and in passing but never about anything more than current Ark happenings. She's pretty – tall and brunette, and kind. Clarke knows she could just walk in and past them, to her room, but she is just not in the mood to make small talk so she sighs, shoves the plastic key card back in her pocket and walks down the hall to the large window.

She boosts herself up and sits on the ledge in front of the window – it's just barley deep enough for her to balance on, and eats her apple. She remembers that there is supposed to be a solar flare tonight, far enough away that it is no danger to them, but close enough that they'll be able to see a pretty spectacular show. She tilts her head back until it comes in contact with the glass and angles her face, waiting for it to come into view.

She hears a door open and close down the hall, and she moves only her eyes to see who it is – with no windows in the apartments on Factory she'd expected at least a few people to watch the solar event at the windows on either side of the hallway – the observation deck not an option for them. She'll move when people start coming, she reasons internally. At first, she thinks it's Amelia and wonders idly what Avery did to make her leave (she feels guilty when he second though is that she won't have to sleep back on Alpha tonight if Amelia is leaving). But as the young woman walks closer, she realizes that she is a few years younger than Amelia and herself, and she walks so cautiously that she seems scared. Clarke hops down from the window and the girl jumps, obviously not having seen her. "Sorry" Clarke says, holding a hand out.

She looks from Clarke, back down the hallway towards the apartment she came out of, and back to Clarke a few times before seeming to come to a decision, "That's okay" she finally says, quietly. She walks to the window and puts her hands on the ledge that Clarke just jumped down from, leaning in so close that her nose touches the glass. Someone passes behind them to the stairs that lead to Factory Cafeteria and she jumps again, turning away from them.

"I'm Clarke" she says finally, looking out of the window from behind the other girl.

She doesn't say anything for a long time, just keeps looking out the window, "I'm Octavia" she finally says, at a near whisper

"Like the Emperor Augustus's sister?" she asks. Clarke had a pretty long Roman History phase around age 12, being fascinated by the culture and world they lived in.

Octavia turns around at that, a bright smile on her face, "Yeah" she nods excitedly. She hesitates a moment before, "I thought there was going to be a solar flare tonight" she looks down like she's nervous and Clarke wonders why, "I really wanted to see it" she glances anxiously back down the hallway.

"We won't be in range to see it for another few minutes" Clarke answers. She waits a moment, before deciding that Avery wasn't going to anger Amelia, and maybe a shower would do her good, so she should probably stop stalling at get to Alpha. "Well…" she gives a half shrug, "Enjoy" she finally finishes.

"Thank You" Octavia breathes as Clarke walks away. Clarke hops over the rusted-out stair and into the hallway when a man's voice stops her.

"O! I've been looking everywhere for you. What the hell are you thinking?" he shouts at the young woman she was just talking to. Clarke peaks her head out to look at them, try to see what is going on. But her movement alerts him to her presence and he grabs Octavia's arm to quiet her – she's been apologizing since she saw him. He pulls her towards him and down the hall. He hears him hiss to Octavia as they walk; "Do you have any idea who that is, O? She's the Ark princess, she'll have people here inside of five minutes" it's the last thing she hears before they disappear behind an apartment door.

She makes the rest of the walk to Alpha trying to make sense of what just happened. She doesn't know why the guy was angry or what he thought she was going to do to them. She makes it home, and starts to get ready to go to sleep. By the time she gets out of the shower, she's all but forgotten the odd exchange.

She never stays out in the common area when she's at her old home in Alpha, wanting to avoid contact with her mother as much as possible. So, she's in bed reading when he mother comes in from the observation deck. It's obvious that she's here; she took a shower and has laundry hanging on the line now (hers and Avery's) so she's not surprised when her mom raps on the door. She sits up straighter, then decides to stand before "Yeah"

Her mother breezes in, "How are you, Clarke?". She's dressed in a long dress, her hair curled around her face and her shoes impractically tall. The observation deck is like an exclusive party, when there is something to be observed, and Clarke realizes that her mother must have went after the Council Meeting today. She wonders idly if it was a good show.

She nods, "I'm well, you?" it feels like she is talking to a stranger.

"I am well" he mother says it slowly and Clarke nods into the awkward silence that follows. Abby clears her throat, "Were you on Factory Station earlier?" she's trying to sound casual, but failing, so Clarke knows this is going somewhere.

"Of course, I was" she answers. "I live there" she adds, partially because it's true, and partially because she likes the way Abby's face pinches when she hears it.

"Was anything odd over there?" Abby asks. Clarke narrows her eyes in response. "A citizen reported seeing a young girl that they didn't know on that floor. They said they thought you were talking to her"

Clarke rolls her eyes, "You sound crazy".

"We've had suspicions of a hidden child on that station for a while now, but random searches haven't turned anything up – if you came in contact with it, that would be huge. Someone saw you speaking to a brunette girl they didn't recognize. If you -"

"That is insane" Clarke interrupts, "Hidden siblings are a myth anyway" she turns so she's not facing her mother, the realization of who that girl was and why that boy was so angry she was out dawning on her all at once, "Goose-bump stories the Council spreads to keep people in line. No way a person lives on this ship to be my age without being discovered". Clarke almost believes herself – how _has_ this girl gone un-discovered?

"Then who were you talking to, Clarke?" Abby asks, exasperated.

"Amelia" she answers, remembering how much she thought the young girl looked like Amelia, "She's Avery's new…whatever" she says.

Abby sighs and rubs her forehead, "Clarke, I -"

But Clarke cuts her off again, "Is that all you wanted?"

It's silent for a long moment, "No" Abby finally says at a near whisper, "I heard that you broke up with your boyfriend, and thought you might want to talk about it"

Clarke barks out a laugh, "Ajax and I broke up like six weeks ago," she does not mention that Ajax cheated on her, "And if I did want to talk, it wouldn't be with you" Abby looks genuinely wounded at that and Clarke takes a deep breath, "You and I just see the world differently, mom". She hates that she still ultimately wants to spare her mother's feelings and gain her approval. Abby nods a little, and turns to leave. Clarke sighs when she shuts the door behind her.

She drops to her bed heavily. How did she not know that there was a secret child living 4 doors away from where she slept most nights? How does someone live like that – was tonight the first time she ever walked in a hallway or looked out of a window? She lays back on the bed – she understands a mother wanting to keep her child, but it almost seems cruel – what kind of life could Octavia have? She'd have to be born, live, and die all in the same small room.

Suddenly, the Ark felt a lot bigger.

* * *

For weeks, Octavia is all Clarke can think about. She wants to help, but doesn't know a way to approach the situation without scaring the family. "You are thinking real hard over there" Avery's voice pulls her from her thoughts, "It looks painful" he laughs when the pillow hits him in the face.

"I have a very important question" she says and he puts on a mock serious face to appease her tone. "Do people call me the Ark Princess?" she asks, remembering the boy's words to Octavia when he pulled her out of the hallway.

"Uh," Avery stalls, and she grabs the pillow that she had just thrown at him back, to shove her face in, "Yeah" he says finally, "yeah they do" he finishes laughing at her.

"You couldn't even lie to make me feel better?" She asks incredulously, hitting him with the pillow, before putting it behind her head. "How have you never told me this?"

"Wait, am I in trouble for telling you, or for not telling you?" there's a pause while she shrugs and he laughs, "Please tell me that is not seriously what you've been over there lost in thought about" she just laughs, "Seriously, Clarke, you've been thinking hard about something for a couple of weeks now – what's up?"

She sighs, "I think I know something. Something I'm not meant to know" she says and he nods a little, "Something that if people find out, someone could get hurt" she says, choosing her words carefully.

"Well, can you do anything about it?" he asks her. And, she is reminded of why she loves him so much. Anyone else would have asked what it was, but he knew that she couldn't tell him and respected her enough not to ask.

She shakes her head, "I don't think so".

"So, maybe you don't" he says, "I know that's hard for you" he adds with a smile before she can protest, "But, maybe, how you can help is just by staying quiet and hoping it works out".

"I don't think this can 'work out'. I think the best-case scenario is that no one finds out" she says, picking at her fingernails absently.

"Well" he says, "Maybe you hope for that? Maybe you keep the secret…maybe that's how you help?"

"Yeah" she whispers, unconvinced.

* * *

A couple of days later, after a shift at medical, she meets Wells at the Alpha cafeteria for lunch. They're making small talk when Wells mentions that they are going to tighten rations the day after next due to an incident at Agro where an entire half of the station caught fire and tons of food burned. It will take six months to replace the destroyed inventory and in that time most rations will be cut in half or more and anyone getting extra rations – like guards or heavy labors, won't any longer. Alpha would be the only station to remain mostly unaffected.

He mentions it in such passing that she's sure he thought she knew, but she asks question after question until he realizes that was not the case. "I'm sorry, Clarke, I thought you knew" he says when she's out of questions he can answer, "Our parents and Kane were talking about it at dinner yesterday" he winces when he remembers how little she talks to her mother these days. "Besides – you won't be affected" he adds in a way that she is sure he thinks is comforting.

She nods a little, "Sorry. I just…you know how much I hate not knowing things" she laughs at the end so he will too and changes the topic.

When she goes home later, she tells Avery what she heard and he waves her off, "Yeah, I heard about something on Agro"

"Why am I the last person to know everything?" she asks. He gives her a half shrug in response. She sighs – she knows that she can take enough from Alpha for her and Avery, but she wonders how others will survive.

* * *

She runs into Octavia's brother one day on her way home from work. Literally, she's looking down at a list of medicines and what they do, trying to memorize them and she smacks right into him while he's walking from his door. She laughs a little, "I'm so sorry" she says as she looks up, realizing who it is she plowed into at that moment. He shrugs, tells her that it's fine but eyes her cautiously. He looks pale, sick maybe, and thinner than the last time she saw him, only weeks ago. She walks away – he's obviously uncomfortable and untrusting of her, so she doesn't prolong the interaction, just goes home. It won't dawn in her until later that he must feed Octavia out of his rations – and if they were cut, he couldn't be eating much at all.

* * *

Working in medical buys you a lot of good-will and being a Council Woman's daughter buys you a lot of fear. Well, maybe fear is the wrong word – people might not fear her, but she knew that she could make them nervous and uncomfortable. With every crime being punishable by death, even people with nothing to hide got nervous around Council members. It is this combination of good-will and nervous fear that leads Clarke to believe that she can get away with something that people have been floated for.

She walks in the Factory cafeteria and goes to Miles, he's in charge of the lunch shift and is a friend of Avery's, "Hey Clarke, I've got no food to offer you for another hour or so" he says, then seem to rethink it, "Even then, it's not much" he adds quieter. The rationing has only been going on for a little while but it's already been rough for a lot of people.

Clarke smiles, shakes her head. She often works in the Factory Medical Center, it's why people don't question how often she's there, as such, she's one of the only people on the Ark with two cafeteria cards (one for Alpha and one for Factory) since she's never quite sure where she'll be eating, though she tries to eat on Alpha, as not to take away from Factory – also they are given more food there, and she can bring some back for Avery. "No, I'm afraid I need your help" she answers. "My Factory cafeteria card accidentally got incinerated" she says with a small laugh. Miles cocks an eyebrow, "I had to burn a pair of my pants because of a contamination accident in medical, and the card was in them" she explains. The accident and burning of a pair of pants were true – it is what gave her this idea. And, she thought with her old card being 'destroyed', they wouldn't feel the need to deactivate it.

He laughs at her story, like she hoped he would. "Let's get you set up with a new one, huh?". She lets out a breath and hides it behind a smile.

For a week, she makes sure to use both cards, the old and the new, every day – she needs to make sure that its safe and that no one will figure it out. Everything is going well, until one day at lunch time, she is in front of Miles in line. She doesn't even think about it until she pulls her old Factory cafeteria card out of her pocket and places it between her teeth so she can pick up her tray. It's beaten up and obviously old, and has a 'My Little Pony' sticker on the front because Avery think's he is hilarious. Miles chuckles at the sticker, and either doesn't remember or doesn't mention that her card should be shining and new.

She sits on the card for another week, until she's sure it's safe. If something was going to happen it would have. So, she folds the card into a piece of paper and writes Octavia's name on the front before taking a deep breath and walking four doors down the hall and stopping on front of the one she saw Octavia pulled into all those nights ago. She just stands there for a long moment, before she takes a deep breath and slides the card under the door.

She's turning to walk away when the door swings open and the boy that dragged Octavia away is standing in front of her, card in his hand. "What is this?" he asks angrily.

Clarke presses her lips together for a moment, "Cafeteria card" she answers. He rolls his eyes. He pulls the piece of paper that it was folded in out of his back pocket and shoves it on front of her face, tapping his finger against Octavia's name. "Look, I – I just – I wanted" she stutters a little, "I was just trying to help" she says finally.

"Help what?" he challenges her, she's surprised by how small he can make her feel with just a look. She stands, silent and shocked, in front of him and he lets out a long breath, rubbing the back of his neck with his free hand. She notices then that he looks sick, tired and worn down. She wonders if he's eating at all.

"I'm sorry. Maybe I did this all wrong" she waits a beat, "I'm Clarke" she says. She waits for him to tell her his name but he doesn't. So, she sighs and nods a little, "I was just trying to help" she repeats in a whisper before walking away.

What Clarke doesn't know is that when she walks away, Bellamy shuts the door and Octavia comes out of his room sobbing, "I'm so sorry, Bell. I shouldn't have gone out" she leans against him and he can feel her tears soak through the shoulder of his shirt as he promises her that it'll be okay – that he won't let anything happen to hey.

A month after rationing starts and extra rations for guard's end, cadet portions get cut in half again. For a week, Bellamy basically starves and he's sure they can't continue like this. He sits in his room, turning the card Clarke gave him in his hand over and over – it's got to be a trap or a trick, nothing comes easy, not to him. But Octavia is hungry all the time and he hasn't had more than water in a week, so he decides it's worth the risk. When he swipes the card, and is handed a tray, he thinks he'll sob with relief. He takes that food back to Octavia and brings his card back to the cafeteria, when that gets him another plate of food he closes his eyes and takes a deep breath before eating.

* * *

"No, I'm not going and you seriously… you can't make me" Clarke says, holding up her hands to deflect the pillow Avery throws at her in response.

"Come on, Mellie wants to go and I need a wing woman" he says. She shakes her head and then rolls her eyes.

"What happened to Amelia?" she asks and he shrugs noncommittally. She laughs and shakes her head a little. "Whatever – I don't care. I'm not going" she says again.

"Calrkeeee" he draws her name out in a whine, she arches an unsympathetic eyebrow. He sighs, sits up straighter, and then the bargaining begins.

In the end, she agrees to go, but he's doing her laundry for a month…she considers it a win. She rethinks that when, a few days later, she is standing in front of a grimy mirror picking at her mask. "Remind me why I agreed to this" she calls out, tilting her head to the side and pulling at her top.

"You hate laundry" Avery says, passing behind her.

"Makes sense…I do hate laundry" She says. She's mostly talking to herself as Avery is too busy staring at his reflection to pay her much mind.

"You ready?" he asks bowing dramatically and holding out his hand for her to take. They both laugh when she slaps her hand into his. They make their way down the hall and to the masquerade. They meet Millie inside and Clarke gets abandoned pretty quickly after that.

She's standing by a wall when she catches sight of Octavia's brother. She's not sure what to do, so she inclines her head a little in acknowledgement and frowns when he only looks away. She wonders if he's used the cafeteria card that she got him – hopes so. Avery comes up behind her and grabs her hand, spinning her in a circle and then onto the dance floor.

Bellamy watches her spin and laugh and wonders why she is here; she is the Ark Princess, but she slumming it on Factory. He wonders if the boy spinning her is some kind if act of rebellion against her parents. It's all he can think of. His eyes scan the crowd for Octavia and he smiles when he sees her – in the middle of a group of people with her hands above her head, jumping and dancing with everyone else. He's been so uncertain about bringing her, but he knew there might never be another chance. And it'd been more than a month since Clarke had slipped the cafeteria card under their door – he was sure they'd fallen off her radar. He'd traded shifts and planned it all so carefully – watching her now made it all worthwhile.

Avery releases Clarke to dance with Mellie and she goes to the small bar set up in the middle of the room. She's knows the girl who is working and makes idle chit-chat with her. They're laughing at her impression of a guy who is dancing when the loud speaker comes alive able them with a crackle.

A disembodied voice on a speaker announces that due to an unforeseen solar flare, the fun is over – everyone must take off their masks, show an ID card, and disperse. Clarke takes a long drink of water, she turns to the girl behind the bar and asks if she's okay to get home, when she says yes and inclines her head towards her boyfriend on the other side of the room, Clarke smiles and hops off her stool to find Avery. He tells her to go, get home, the guards won't stop her, will be too afraid to incur the wrath of a Council Woman's daughter. She reluctantly agrees, tells him that she'll see him at home and walks towards the other side of the room, the hallway that will lead her home.

She's in the thresh hold of the hall when she hears a scared voice behind her 'which way is home'. She's not sure why, but it catches her attention. She glances behind her and is shocked when she sees Octavia, looking up at her brother. She must not yet realize what kind of danger she's in, because she looks confused and inquisitive…but he looks downright terrified. His eyes dart desperately in every direction, true panic setting in. He can't just leave, there are guards on every exit now, and if they stay Octavia will be discovered for sure.

There is a guard approaching Octavia and her brother, and Clarke knows she only has a moment, so without really deciding to, she runs over to them, grabbing the key card that he'd been holding out for Octavia and stuffing it in her tiny purse before taking Octavia's hand, forcing her voice into a high-pitched giggle when she says "I've been looking everywhere for you!". She watches his eyes dart between her and the guards, hopes that he sees the sincerity in her intentions.

He doesn't have much choice but to trust her though, not when she is unknown and the alternative is certain and painful, so he nods to his sister who clutches her hand tight. She's starts to tug Octavia towards her when the guard finally makes his way to them. When he asks for their ID's Clarke spins a story about how they left them at her apartment on Alpha when they snuck out to the party, and he can totally come back and scan them, but really, they just have to get home before her mom finds out. He rolls his eyes at her childishness and cocks his head to the side, tells her to be careful getting home and she goes. She hears Octavia's brother getting instructions as she tugs Octavia away sharply, know that he will likely be there all night. Hope the guard wasn't able to see the barely concealed panic in his eyes.

She has to basically drag Octavia back to her apartment. When they get there, she lets them in with the key card she'd snagged from Bellamy and hangs the card on the hook by the door, hoping that is what it is there for. When she turns to Octavia, she is basically hyperventilating, the reality of what almost happened catching up to her. Clarke hugs her awkwardly, rubbing her back softly. "Do you think Bellamy is okay?" she hiccups out.

"You're brother?" Clarke surmises, "I think so" she nods a little, "Right now, I think he's probably just mostly worried about you". Clarke leads her to the couch, helps her sit, "It'll probably be a few hours until Bellamy can slip away, so just stay here and stay quiet" she says, alternating her weight from one foot to the other, unsure if she should stay or of that is just an invasion.

Octavia looks up at her from the couch, "Please don't leave" she whispers, looks down, "I don't want to be alone" she adds, wrapping her arms around herself.

Clarke nods, sits down next to her, wraps an arm around her shivering frame, "Of course". After a few minutes of silence, Clarke points absently at the tablet on the table, "Do you want to watch a movie?" thinking that a distraction might be nice.

Octavia nods, wiping at her eyes with a half-shrug. Clarke grabs the tablet and pulls up the movies, noticing that there are only about two dozen on there – she must have seen them all a thousand times, she realizes looking at Octavia before handing her the tablet so she can choose and going to the kitchenette to get her a water.

They start the movie, but neither of them pay it much mind. After a while Octavia sighs softly, "Has it been too long? Do you think he's still okay?" she asks in a quiet voice. Clarke really does think that he's okay, that he's still clearing people out and escorting people back to their apartments. But looking at Octavia, she wonders how she'd feel if it was Avery facing the possibility of being caught for something that can get you floated.

Clarke reaches out and pauses the movie, Octavia looks at her curiously, but she just pulls her comm device out of her pocket and calls Avery's name up to the screen, pressing the little picture of his face. She puts it on speaker, so Octavia can hear and presses her finger to her own lips so the younger girl knows to stay quiet. He answers after less than a ring, "Where are you, are you okay?"

She scrunches up her nose, "Yeah, I was supposed to meet you at home, I got distracted…sorry". She'd forgotten, in all the chaos.

"Where are you?" Avery asks with a little sigh.

"At a friend's" She says with a small smile for Octavia. "Listen, I have a weird question -"

"Don't you always?" he cuts her off.

"Ha ha" she dead pans. She asks him how long ago he left the Masquerade, and finds out it was just a few minutes ago, that he'd been about to call her to find out where she was. "When you left, was there a cadet there?" she asks, he interjects to tell her that they were a lot of cadets there, "Like your height, brown hair, lives in your hall" she describes Bellamy until Avery knows who she is talking about.

"Yeah, when I left he was with Shumway, scanning ID's. They had him walking some people back to their apartments, I think". The tension drains from Octavia's body in a way that is obvious and visual and she smiles in relief. "Why?"

Clarke laughs a little, "Just a weird question, just curious" she says. He makes a voice from the back of his throat that tells her he doesn't believe her. She's not surprised. She's sure he thinks she has a crush or something. They exchange good byes and as soon as the comm is back in her pocket, Octavia practically tackles her in a hug.

When Bellamy walks in the apartment, Clarke and Octavia are on the couch talking. He barely registers that though, his wild eyes darting to Octavia, crushing her to him in a hug when she stands. Octavia laughs, the sounds muffled by Bellamy's chest. Clarke stands, hangs back by the couch, she thinks she should just go, give them the moment, but they're right in front of the exit path.

"Thank you" he says, over the top of Octavia's head. It gets quiet and he swallows heavily, "thank you" he repeats, releasing his sister and crossing to Clarke. She nods slowly, "I don't know what I would have done…" he shakes his head, "It was so stupid to take her there, anything could have happened…" he trails off again, rubbing the back of his neck with his hand.

"You got out okay? They don't suspect anything?" she asks.

"I'm sure they suspect plenty" he says, a dark chuckle escaping him.

"They were suspicious before" she says suddenly, remembering what her mother told her, "I don't know why or how, but they were suspicious of a hidden child, that's why there are so many random searches here" she says it quickly, wanting to make sure she gets it out.

Bellamy nods, "We'll be more careful". Clarke nods, mumbles an okay.

"I guess I should…" she points at the door.

Bellamy clears his throat, "Yeah" she turns, her hand is on the doorknob when Bellamy's voice stops her, "I'm Bellamy, by the way" she laughs lightly.

"Hi Bellamy" he smirks at her.

"Hey Clarke" Octavia's voice fills the room, "Do you think you could visit?" she's self-conscious, picking at imaginary lint on her dress. She's never had a friend before, and she really, really, wants that.

Clarke glances back at Bellamy before turning to Octavia and nodding, "Of course" she says, grabbing Octavia's hand and holding it for a moment. She smiles, before turning to leave.

* * *

Please Review!


	2. Explosion

Chapter Two: Explosion

Bellamy stands off to the side of the room, searching the faces of people being pulled from the rubble for ones that look familiar. A few pass him, but none so badly injured that he does much more than nod at them as they go by. He is there as a cadet; his role is to stay with one of the medical apprentice who is cataloguing injuries of each patient on a tablet so that a medical official can determine which medical center they should be sent to without having to come down to the disaster zone themselves. Alpha has, by far, the largest and best equipped medical center – it's the only one equipped to hope to help someone in a truly dire situation. Only small injuries and those people deemed unworthy of being saved end up in the smaller stations medical outposts, which are staffed almost entirely by apprentices; maybe a couple graduated doctors between them.

A boy Bellamy recognizes is being led from the collapsed work station, when he trips and his ankle turns awkwardly, and he goes down, his knee skidding on a piece of metal. Bellamy helps him up and supports most of his weight while Emma catalogues his injuries on her tablet and waits for the screen to tell her where to direct him. Bellamy's head turns when he hears a few shouts from the doorway – most of the cadets are there, responsible for keeping the general population out while they clear the area. People are desperate to get in and check on their loved ones though, so every few moments there is a shout or a bang as someone hits against the wall. Bellamy hands the boy over to another medical apprentice who helps him to the Factory Medical Center.

The rescue team is getting to the back of the collapsed room now, closer to where the explosion actually happened; they aren't pulling people out with bruises and skinned knees anymore, they are pulling people out with crushed legs and broken collar bones. Emma pulls in a sharp breath next to him when the girl they bring her has a bone poking out of her skin, just below her knee. She is young, and has long brown hair – she looks so much like Octavia that Bellamy looks away for a moment.

That's when he sees her. He's not sure how she got through the cadets at the door, or if she found another way in, but she's standing still and silent in the middle of the room while things happen frantically around her. She is the eye of the storm.

He leans down to tell Emma that he'll be right back, and when she nods he takes a few slow steps towards Clarke. He notices the big, silent, crocodile tears on her cheeks for the first time and swallows his confusion. He's about to speak when her eyes widen and her lips form a little 'o' in shock. "Sarah!" She shouts, running a few steps to a girl being brought out on a stretcher.

She takes Sarah's hand when she gets to her and the girl coughs a little before she speaks, "It happened right over me" she can barely do more than whisper. "Avery saved me" the ghost of a smile crosses her, "He pushed me under something and covered me"

"Do you know where he is…is he…" Clarke trails off, looking back towards the collapsed work station with big eyes. Bellamy knows that he is intruding, knows her should walk away, but can't bring himself to and moves a little closer. He realizes then that he knows Sarah, she is the wife of his friend, Stanley. He wants to go ask how she is, but doesn't want to intrude any more on their conversation.

"I'm sorry" Clarke's attention snaps back to Sarah, "I don't know" she sniffles a little, "I tried to keep track of him, but it all happened so fast". Clarke closes her eyes, tears falling in earnest now.

Clarke shakes her head, "No, don't do that, it's not your fault" she promises. She takes a deep breath, and places her hand on Sarah's expanded stomach. "What were you even doing in there, I thought they moved you to food service until the baby is born".

"Yeah…they did." She starts, "They asked me to come show the apprentice replacing me how to do something, I was only there a few minutes when…" she trails off. "Do you think…is she going to be okay?" Sarah asks, suddenly scared and looking at her stomach.

"Of course," Clarke whispers, squeezing Sarah's hand. She leans down and kisses the top of Sarah's head, she about to speak but Sarah beats her to it.

"Go find him" Sarah says and Clarke smiles gratefully, nodding a little before grabbing Emma and asking her to make sure Sarah gets to Alpha okay and stumbling backwards a bit when Emma tells her that her tablet won't let her see the whole list of who has been recovered, but that she hasn't personally seen Avery.

Her back collides with someone and she spins around to see who, she's half way through an apology when she realizes its him. When she does, she looks at him with wide desperate eyes that he thinks must mirror his at the masquerade with Octavia. "Do you know how I can figure out if a certain person is still…?" she trails off, gesturing a little towards the collapsed room.

He doesn't, and he's not sure who does, but he doesn't want to tell her that. He's spared it though when another medical apprentice, responsible for cataloguing injuries shouts her name from across the room. "Thanks" Clarke says to him as she walks away, even though he didn't do anything for her. She must not like whatever the boy tells her, though, because he hears a loud "What?!" from her before she runs off.

He's curious about what is happening, but can't do anything about that. It's more than forty minutes before they pull the last person from the rubble, already dead, and Shumway gathers the cadets to redistribute them. He's sent to the Factory Medical Center; all the medical centers are getting guards and cadets – they've all exceeded their capacity in both patients and visitors and they need to make sure it doesn't turn into a riot or mass panic anywhere.

He glances around as he walks in, making idle chit-chat with Marcos, the guard he's paired with for the rest of his shift. The last thing he expects to see is Clarke, arguing with a doctor in the corner, her eyes glassy and red. The doctor puts a hand on her shoulder, she nods, and the doctor disappears behind 'Medical Personal Only' doors. Clarke turns sharply into a corner on the room, facing the window, but with her hand over her eyes. He watches for a long moment, before mumbling something to Marcos and weaving through people concerned about their loved ones to get to her. He reaches a tentative hand out, the pads of his fingertips just barley grazing her shirt on her shoulder. She sniffles, pulls in a deep breath, and turns to face him.

When she turns, she looks ready for a fight. He's not sure who she though he'd be, but it wasn't him. Her face falls, all the angry aggression that had been there dropping until she just looks exhausted and terrified. Now that he's in front of her, and she's looking at him, he's really not sure why he came over here, or what he wants to say to her. "Are you okay?" is all that comes out, hesitant and unsure. Clarke looks around for a long moment, like she's trying to process exactly where she is and why. Her bottom lips shakes a little when she blows out a deep breath, and he knows that she is trying to hold back tears. She opens and closes her mouth a couple times, like she is trying to find the words for something, so he shakes his head, "stupid question, sorry" he says so that she won't have to speak. An awkward silence hangs in the air around them for a moment and Bellamy nods a bit, "I'm going to be around for a bit, so…" he trails off, the unspoken invitation left hanging in the air around them. She nods a little, offers what he thinks is meant to be a smile, before he walks back to Marcos.

He glances back at Clarke, who leans against the wall in the corner before sliding down it to sit on the floor. He and Marcos basically just spend their shift wandering around the room, squashing anything that looks like it might lead to a panic or a problem. The next time he passes Clarke, she's pressed as far into the corner and away from everything else as she can get, her head is rested on her bent knees, her face turned to the wall.

He'd already been on shift a while when the explosion happened, and while all the guards have been called into the investigation, the Cadets aren't privy to that kind of information, so his replacement shows up a little after his normal shift end time and they exchange a little small talk before Bellamy leaves. He feels like he should say something to Clarke, but he's not sure what, so in the end he doesn't.

He gets home to find Octavia sitting on the floor in front of the coffee table, playing cards laid out in front of her in an intricate pattern. She doesn't notice him until the door has swung shut behind him with a click, and when she does she jumps up and hugs him tightly. "I heard there was an explosion" she said, voice fast and a little high, pointing at the tablet propped up on the floor by the table playing the basics of the news on an endless loop.

"In the Factory Work Station" Bellamy confirms with a small nod. She's asks him all kinds of questions about what happened and who was there. Most of it he doesn't know, but it doesn't stop her from asking – from always being hungry for whatever information he has. He can't begrudge her that, knows he can't understand how hard it must be to know life only within four walls.

He's not sure what makes him, but he tells her about seeing Clarke there, about her being in the waiting room at the Factory Medical Station. He's expecting her confusion to mirror his, even she should understand that someone like Clarke shouldn't be worried about someone who was low enough on the totem pole to be sent to Factory Medical during assessment. But, Octavia just nods, and he shouldn't be surprised that she knows more than him, "Must have been Avery" she says and off Bellamy's confused look adds, "the guy from the dance". He remembers they guy he saw her with, but has no idea of their relationship, figured it was a ploy to anger her parents, a rebellious phase, he tells Octavia. His sister only rolls her eyes, "They grew up together, they're almost like siblings" she says. And though it shouldn't, though he owes Clarke nothing, it makes a saddens for her grow in his stomach. He hugs Octavia lightly before taking a shower.

When he comes out in jeans that don't fit exceptionally well and a grey t-shirt with a couple of holes, Octavia is waiting for him. He's hardly out of the bathroom when "You should check on Clarke".

He gives her a blank stare, "O, I'm sure her mom is there…or someone".

Octavia rolls her eyes, exasperated with him, "She barley talks to her mom" she answers like it's common knowledge. It's not.

"How long did you guys talk the other day?" Bellamy asks under his breath. It's only been a week since the Masquerade, Clarke hadn't had a chance to come back and visit, if she'd even intended to, Bellamy is surprised by how much Octavia seems to know about her. Octavia just rolls her eyes and starts at him, her expression telling him that she has no intention of letting this go. He blows out a long breath, "You gonna be okay here for a while?" She rolls her eyes at him and he holds up his hands in a gesture of surrender before pulling on a sweater and backing out of the apartment.

He takes the long way, stopping by the Factory Cafeteria on the way. He buys only a water, adding a second at the last moment. He's really not sure he should go – he hardly knows this girl. But he owes her, he reminds himself, and he did genuinely want to honor that. He just wasn't sure how the presence of a stranger could be helpful. He walks as slowly as possible, taking turns and detours, but Factory Station is small and he ends up at the Medical Outpost before long anyway. He gives a nod to the Cadet who took his post as he walks in and makes his way past the people in the waiting room to the back.

He realizes that Clarke hasn't moved at all since he left, she still sits curled in on herself, looking at the wall. He hesitates for a long moment, but figures he can at least ask her how Avery is before he goes, so he has something to tell Octavia.

* * *

Something cold bumps her knee lightly, and Clark drags the back of her hand over her eyes before she lifts her head and looks up. It takes a moment for her to place him; up to now, she'd only seen him in his Cadet's uniform with his hair slicked back and his eyes hard. But now, he's in jeans and a beat-up shirt, a mismatched sweater over that, his hair curly and messy and maybe a little damp. He touches the water bottle to her knee again and she reaches out and takes it. Mumbles a 'thank you' while her red-rimmed eyes meet his. He nods a little, shifts awkwardly before pointing at the empty space next to her, "May I?" he asks quietly. She nods, scooting impossibly closer to the wall, even though it's unnecessary. He doesn't sit so close that they are touching, but she can feel the heat coming from his body while she takes a long drink from her water. She's asks him if he has someone here and he just shakes his head no, she doesn't press, just nods absently.

It's been over an hour and they haven't really spoken at all. Her head is tiled back against the wall and Bellamy stares straight out in front of himself, unsure if she even remembers that he is there. Her head rolls a little and he feels her temple touch his shoulder. He wonders if she is asleep, stays still in case, hears her sigh and kind of doubts it, but still doesn't move. All the sudden her name is being called from somewhere in the crowd of people in the waiting room, she tenses before she stands and Bellamy stands too, not sure what else to do.

"Stanley" she says, realizing who is calling her name, clearing her throat when her voice cracks. Stanley comes up and wraps his arms around her tightly. "How's Sarah?" she asks.

"Hey, yeah, they are inducing labor" he notices Bellamy and reaches a hand out, they clasp each other on the back while Clarke watches.

"I didn't know you guys knew each other" Clarke says, watching.

"I could say the same" Stanley says back. He and Bellamy had grown up together on Factory, had been fast friends. They weren't as close as they used to be, Bellamy had kind of fallen off the radar at some point, but they were still friendly. He'd met Avery a while after Bellamy had stopped wanting to play, while he and Clarke were playing hide-and-seek. Avery wanted to be his friend even though they were from different stations, and that came with Clarke. "I've only got a few minutes before they take her back, she's getting prepped now, but I wanted to see how Avery is"

Clarke shrugs a little, "Still in surgery". Stanley nods a little, puts his hand on Clarke's shoulder. She shakes her head, trying to clear her thoughts, then asks him what doctors are going to be doing the delivery, asks him all kinds of questions about Sarah's condition, tells him not to worry – it all seems pretty straight forward and it's hardly early for the baby at all, less than three weeks. Stanley nods, swallows thickly, hugs her again. He and Bellamy clasp shoulders again, exchange quiet words, before Stanley goes back to Alpha Medical.

Bellamy blows out a quiet breath and leans back against the wall, he startles a little when Clarke's fingers brush his wrist lightly. He turns to look at her, "You don't have to stay." She says quietly.

He nods a little, "I didn't mean to intrude" he assures her, pushing off the wall and taking a few steps.

Her voice stops him, "No," she chews her lip a moment, "I didn't mean it like that" she says and he takes a step closer to her, has to in order to hear her, her voice is so quiet, "I just, you had the morning shift, so I know you've been up all day, and," her voice lowers even though no one is close enough to hear them, "we both know you have someone waiting for you at home." She finishes.

He smiles a little, enjoying the feeling of not being the only one to worry about Octavia for a moment. "She was worried about you" Bellamy says, gesturing to where they had been sitting before and taking his seat again, continuing when she sits next to him, "told me to check on you when I told her I'd seen you here"

"I hadn't had a day off work" she says and Bellamy doesn't understand, "I was going to come see her this Thursday…it's my day off" she thinks, "or was, I didn't go today, I don't…" she trails off and he swallows.

"She understands" he whispers, "She'll be excited whenever you make it over" certainty in his voice.

She nods, but doesn't answer, leaning back against the wall. Time passes, Bellamy isn't sure how much, but he knows it's significant. At one point, he sees Clarke shiver and fold further into herself, so he shrugs off his sweater and drapes it across her. She tries to give it back at first, but when promises that its fine, she pulls it up to her chin, burrowing into it.

A while later, a doctor pushes out of the double doors and Clarke must recognize him, because she is on her feet in an instant, pushing her arms through the sleeves of his sweater to keep it on and walking over to him. Bellamy stands, but doesn't follow, instead leans against the wall and watches. Tears spring to Clarke's eyes, but she doesn't melt down, so Bellamy doesn't think that her friend has died. For a moment, he imagines what he'd do if he was in Clarke's place, Octavia somewhere behind the swinging doors.

He's pulled out of the though by Clarke coming to stand in front of him again, pulling her hand under her eyes. He puts a hand on her elbow and she leans into it, pulls in a deep breath, "It's taking longer than expected, so they're putting him in stasis overnight" she says it quietly and he doesn't want to make her talk about it, but asks quietly what that means. She explains that it's like a pause button – a way to give the patient's body a rest and time to build blood and necessary fluid back up without having to be given them (which keeps them from using their allotment as well).

"It sounds like a good thing" Bellamy whispers. She shrugs and it's quiet for a long moment.

She shakes her head, "I know you've been here all day, but do you have a minute?" she asks, forcing her voice to be more upbeat than she it. He nods and she cocks her head, indicating that he should follow and turns. He follows her all the way to Alpha Medical, and doesn't put together what they're doing until she uses her Medical Apprentice badge to unlock a hallway door. They slip into Sarah's room to find her and Stanley talking.

Clarke hugs Stanley firmly then goes to Sarah's bed. Bellamy hears her say, "you look beautiful, mama" as he congratulates Stanley. She explains stasis to them, much the same way she explained it to him. And when tears start to well in her eyes, she shakes her head forcefully, "You guys are great and all, but you're not who I'm here to see" she says, forcing her voice into the same faux upbeat as before.

She walks to the bassinet built into the bench at the side of the room and her hands hover over it before "May I?" Stanley laughs when he says 'of course'. She smiles when she picks up the baby, cradling the little girl to her chest, "She's perfect" she whispers, smiling up at Sarah. After a few moments, she bumps Bellamy with her arm, "Sorry, I'm monopolizing, do you want to hold her?"

"Sure" he says, letting Clarke transfer the baby into his arms. She's much smaller than Octavia was when she was born, having come earlier than intended, but it still reminds him so much of her; his sister, his responsibility. He coos at the baby for a minute or two, before returning her to the bassinet.

"I just wanted to meet little no name, and let you know about Avery" Clarke says, "I'll let you get some sleep". Stanley asks her about when Avery's surgery will continue and when he says good bye to Bellamy, he thanks him for watching out for Clarke and Bellamy isn't sure how to take that, so he just shrugs a little.

Their apartments are only a few doors apart, so they walk together in an amicable silence. He mumbles a 'goodnight' when they get to her door. She says 'thanks' back as she stops. He's about to wave his key card in front of the sensor when he glances over at her. She's standing in the hall, just staring at her door. He sighs and walks back over to her.

"Come on" he says, nodding back towards his door. Her eyebrows draw together in a question, "You can stay with us" she looks around a little, "Octavia would love to see you, to make sure you're okay for herself" he looks at her, "she doesn't trust me to do it" he adds to make her smile, it almost works. He thinks about his apartment, how if Octavia was in Avery's place he wouldn't be able to set foot in it and reaches out to let his fingers circle her wrist gently, 'Come on" he repeats, tugging her lightly. She nods softly and lets herself be pulls, mumbling a 'thank you'.

When he opens the door, Octavia is in the kitchen, heating the contents of a protein pack in oil. She sets the spatula down and crosses the room to pull Clarke into a firm hug. Clarke's arms are slow, but they raise to hug Octavia back. Bellamy watches from a few paces back. When she pulls back, Octavia has Clarke sit at the table, which she has extended from the wall and cleaned off. Bellamy sets three places and though there isn't much food, that's how Octavia splits it at the table. Clarke doesn't eat much, pushing it around her plate quietly while the Blake's try to distract her.

"How about a movie?" Octavia asks, reminding her of the night of the Masquerade. Clarke nods quietly, letting Octavia lead her to the couch. She sits, picking at the sleeves of Bellamy's sweater, which she is still wearing, and Octavia sits in the arm chair across from the couch.

"You can pick" Clarke says to Octavia when Octavia holds out the table for her to pick a movie. She picks something funny and sets it up, yelling for her brother to hurry up. Bellamy finishes the dishes and walks in, sitting on the opposite side of the couch from Clarke.

When the movie ends, Clarke has fallen asleep, her head against the arm of the couch and her feet in Bellamy's lap. Octavia shuts down the tablet on the rolling credits and crosses the room as quietly as she can, as she goes to Aurora's room to sleep. About twenty minutes later, Clarke wakes up with a gasp, springing into a sitting position and grabbing a hold of Bellamy's arm in one quick movement.

Bellamy puts his hands on her shoulders and says her name a few times, trying to pull he back to reality, until she nods, releasing her grip on his arm and scrubbing her hands over her face a few times. "Sorry" she whispers after a few moments have passes, "sorry"

"It's fine. You're fine" Bellamy assures her, letting her shoulders go and dropping his hands in his lap. An awkward silence settles in and he clears his throat, "Why don't you take my room, try to get some sleep?"

She shakes her head a little, "No, I don't want…I'm already intruding…I'm okay…" she stumbles over herself a bit, and he asks her if she's sure several times, before giving up and disappearing down the hall.

Clarke never gets back to sleep that night, she lays on the couch trying to sleep but only sees nightmares when she closes her eyes. After a while she gives up, and takes to staring at the clock instead. When it hits 4:30, the time the Alpha cafeteria opens, she pulls her shoes on, grabs Bellamy's key card off the wall and slips out. She needs to do something other than obsess about Avery and his condition, so she walks to the cafeteria, pulling Bellamy's sweater tighter around herself and nodding to anyone she passes. It's a couple of hours before the shift change, so luckily, she doesn't pass many people, the cafeteria is mostly empty, which is why she was there now.

She makes a little idle chit-chat with the girl who is working while she looks over the options. She realizes that she has no idea what Bellamy and Octavia might like, and thinks about how she'd like the distraction of cooking a large meal. They could always keep the leftovers, and re-heat them for meals later this week, she justifies when she buys too much food. She makes her way back to the apartment and lets herself in with the key card, re hanging it as she closes the door behind her.

She's a quiet as possible when she sets her purchases down and goes to the kitchenette, opening cabinets to find pans and a bowl and a knife and spoon. She feels like she is intruding as she opens every door and peers inside, hopes that it won't be seen that way. She pulls a bowl towards her and turns on the hot plate built into the countertop, placing a long pan on it. She thinks about Avery's mom, teaching them to cook on Sundays when they were small. How she'd sing while she poured batter, and how Sunday breakfast was always an all-day affair, how no matter what else was going on, she's make sure there was enough credits left at the end of the week for them to make a big meal. She'd drag chairs over to the counter and let Clarke and Avery stand on them, giving them jobs and explaining what went well together. She'd felt more at home there than she ever had with her own mother.

She's not sure how long she works, but she's almost done when she hears Bellamy clear his throat lightly behind her. It startles her a little, she flinches, glances up at the clock by the door (it's early, she thinks she must have woken him), and turns to face him. He's standing by the couch in sweat pants and a t-shirt, his hair crisscrossing over his head in every possible direction. His voice is thick and sleep-coated when he takes a half step forward, "I didn't mean to scare you"

She shrugs, "I didn't mean to wake you". His eyes take in the mess of the kitchen; a plate to her right stacked with pancakes, eggs to get left. Whole fruit on the counter next to a knife, waiting to be chopped. A bowl and cutlery balanced in the sink, waiting to be washed. Bacon burning on the hot plate behind her. "I hope it's okay…I used your key card to get back in…maybe I…" her words come in fits and starts, she doesn't finish any of her thoughts.

Bellamy crosses the kitchen and puts a hand on her elbow to stop her rambling and she looks up at him from under her eye lashes. They only thing on the counter behind her he has ever eaten before is pancakes; on his sixth birthday, the day his mother told him that he was pregnant with Octavia, she's scraped together enough credits to get him new shoes and make pancakes for dinner – it had been a huge deal. Octavia had never even seen most of the foods on the counter. "Clarke, you didn't have to do this" He catches sight of the whole fruit on the counter, he's only even seen it at the Alpha cafeteria before, when he was working – in big glass cases.

Her cheeks tinge pink and she drops her eyes back to the floor. "I just…I wanted to thank you for helping me, and I…" she wants to say that she thought that it was possible that he and Octavia might have never had some of this before, but she doesn't want it to be taken the wrong way, "And I mean, I couldn't sleep, so the distraction was nice".

Bellamy nods a little, doesn't want to push when she seems so fragile to begin with. He wants her to smile, so he cocks his head to the side, "Are twelve other people coming, or…? He lets his voice trail up and she gives a half smile before she can think about it.

"It'll keep fine" she insists, lets him roll his eyes at her good naturedly.

He lets out a quiet chuckle, not wanting to wake Octavia before rocking back on his heels, "Can I help with anything?" he asks her and she smiles nods her head, whispers out a 'yeah' before putting a bowl and a few pieces of fruit in front of him. She makes a show of handing him the knife, asking of he's sure he can be trusted. He smirks when he takes it.

She's washing dishes while he chops fruit, and feels so oddly…not odd, so domestic and easy that it's all too easy to forget the circumstances that brought it about. 'When we were small," Clarke starts, pulling the plug out of the bottom of the sink and letting the water drain, picking up a towel and starting to dry the dishes, "making Sunday breakfast lasted all day. Avery's mom would cook and teach us, and let us throw food and be ridiculous," she remembers with a smile, opening a drawer to see if it's where the spatula she's holding goes before Bellamy takes it from her and puts it away, "And then we'd watch a movie…we had to alternate picking, because we never agreed, so I'd get really excited when it was my week" she shakes her head a little at the memory, folding the towel over the cabinet handle by the sink.

"I can't remember the last movie I saw that I actually wanted to see" he laughs a little, finishes chopping, washes the knife, and pulls down plates and cutlery to set the table. Clarke grabs the cutlery from him while he's setting the plates and it feels so normal that he has half an instinct to lean over and kiss her. He swallows instead, continues his story, "I always found movies that O liked since she couldn't leave, it felt like I should give her that. Whenever we have enough credits to add a movie to the tablet, I get one for her"

Clarke smiles at the story, it's a such a small thing, but feels like it probably makes a big difference for Octavia. She's about to tell him that when Octavia stumbles out of the back bedroom, rubbing at her eyes, flannel PJ pants ending at her ankles since she's outgrown them. Her eyes roam over the food, now set out at the table, before settling back on her brother and Clarke, "What…how…what?" she asks.

Bellamy laughs at her, and she punches his arm while he explains that Clarke made it all. "You didn't have to do that" Octavia says, not looking away from the food. Bellamy laughs again as they all sit down. Clarke hardly eats, Bellamy watches her put a pancake on her plate and tear it in to small pieces, eating maybe two of the pieces. Octavia eats so much that he's sure she'll be sick later, but he can't blame her when she's never even seen most of these foods.

Clarke and Bellamy leave soon after; they're taking Avery out of stasis and continuing surgery, so Clarke wants to be there for that, and Bellamy has work. They walk together until they reach that hall that leads to Alpha, where Bellamy has to go to get his day's assignment at the Guard Center. "So," Clarke starts awkwardly, "Thanks for letting me stay last night, it was really nice"

"Sure" Bellamy says, rocking back on his heels and rubbing the back of his neck with one hand, he searching for something to say so that the silence between them will pass when he says, "You saved us back at the Masquerade, so". Clarke nods a little, but he can tell by the look on her face that it was the wrong thing to say, but he's not really sure why. They break off and go down their respective hallways after that.


	3. Exploration

Chapter Three: Exploration

He doesn't see her again that day, so at the end of his shift he goes to the Factory Medical Center. He's not sure why he goes, not sure that she even wants to see him, but he feels like he should check on her, at least. When he goes in, he looks around the room but doesn't see her. He wonders if she's out changing her clothes or eating or something and goes to leave. As he does, someone pushes out of the 'Medical Personal Only' doors and he catches sight of her. He only sees her for a half second, in the hallway, her hand on a window, crying. He decides to wait for her, even though he's not sure that's a good idea.

It only ends up being a couple of minutes before she comes out. Her eyes are red and glassy, but she's not crying anymore. She says a quiet 'thank you' to a doctor filling out charts behind the nurses stand and goes to leave, not having seen him. Bellamy pushes off the wall he'd been leaning on and catches up to her in the hall where she's stopped. She hasn't noticed him, so he puts a hand on her shoulder, pulling it back when she jumps a little. "Hey…hey, it's just me" he says, and he doesn't know what he did wrong, but she's crying again. He puts his hand on her shoulder again, awkwardly, and tugs her forward, just barley, but she folds into him easily. He wraps one arm around her waist and runs the other through her hair.

Despite being the only male on the Ark with the unique perspective on women that having a sister offers, he's still no good at this. He thinks that having a sister actually made him worse at knowing what to do with women he isn't related to, because he could never find time for them. So, when Clarke stumbles back from him like she's been burnt, wiping hastily at her eyes, he has no idea what just happened. "Clarke, what…?" he asks quietly.

She shakes her head, trying to compose herself and he waits, "I'm fine, I…" she pulls in a deep breath, "I'm fine, I'm sorry for crying on you" she says, gesturing at the damp spot on his shirt where her face had pressed against his chest. He lets out a little laugh, starts to take a half step towards her and tell her that it's fine, but she takes a step back, her back pressing against the wall on the other side of the hallway.

He looks around a little, confused. He wants to ask of he did something to upset her, but he hasn't seen her all day and things had seemed fine at breakfast. He wonders all at once if this isn't about him at all, if something happened to her friend and he's so self-centered that he's making it about himself, "Clarke, did something happen? Is Avery okay?" he asks quietly.

She shakes her head a little, "They couldn't operate as long today, because he's weaker, so he's in stasis again" her mouth twitches a little, "I just want to see him, but I can't even do that because the stasis is in a clean room" she sounds so sad, he thinks about crossing the hall to her, but then thinks about her backing up until she touched the wall and doesn't.

He nods, unsure what to say. "Why don't you come back, see what Octavia is doing with the breakfast leftovers?" he asks, holding his hand out to her. He tries to make it light and easy to distract her from her worries, but it comes out a little forced.

She smiles a little sadly and shakes her head a bit, watching his hand drop between them. He starts to say her name, so she clears her throat, "I really appreciate what you did for me, staying with me yesterday and letting me sleep at your apartment." She says, looking at the wall behind him and not at his face, "But, I really can't do a whole quid-pro-quo thing, so…" she trails off.

Bellamy feels like he missed a part of the conversation. Like it was fast-forwarded without him, because he's really not sure what she means. He's tired, work had sucked, and instead of trying to piece it together, he sighs "I'm not really sure what we're talking about here, Clarke"

Her eyes squeeze shut and her forehead crinkles a little, like she's exasperated with him, "I just…you don't owe me anything" she shakes her head a little, "We don't owe each other anything, I helped you at the Masquerade and you helped me yesterday, and I really, I just don't have the energy to keep score, so, I just, I'm going to go". She thinks about where she is going to go; she can't go home, or to her moms, Wells would take her in but that would mean seeing Thelonious which she does not want to do. It doesn't matter, she thinks idly.

She starts to walk away, get a few paces between them before Bellamy's brain catches up and he gets to her in a couple of strides. He lets his fingers circle her wrist for a moment, long enough that she knows that he followed, but not so long that he'd be physically holding her there. She stops, "Clarke, I really don't know what I did, or what this is about" he says quietly to her back. He likes her, likes that he feels like he can trust her even though he hasn't known her long enough to know that for sure. Likes how she is with Octavia, and that she sort-of understands a sibling dynamic. Likes that she is measured and calculated and rash and unpredictable, all in equal measure, likes that she saw his situation and her first instinct wasn't to turn him in to collect on the reward but to help him and Octavia. Likes that even in her sadness, she thinks to get up early and make breakfast when she hadn't needed to do anything at all.

She pulls in a breath and turns around, when she does there are small silent tears on her cheeks, and he wonders if she knows about them, if she gave them permission to fall. "This morning, you said that you owed me, that it was why you helped me, and I…" she looks around a little, "I just can't do that, can't always wonder whose ahead or if we're on equal -"

He cuts her off with her name, "Clarke, I was just…I mean, yeah if you hadn't helped us at the Masquerade, or with the cafeteria card," he moves closer to her to whisper, making sure he isn't overheard, "then I wouldn't have known you, but I didn't mean that it was some kind of equalizer." He shrugs a little, "I was just…talking…no one is keeping score, it isn't like that" he promises, waiting for her to look at him. It takes a moment, but she does, moves her eyes from the wall to his face, more tears collecting in her eyes. He holds out his hand, whispers an "I promise" when she looks at it for a long moment. Finally, she reaches out and takes his hand, he pulls her in the direction of his apartment and doesn't say anything when she wipes at her cheeks.

She stops suddenly and he drops her hand to spin around and look at her, "I'm sorry, I just…can we stop somewhere?" she asks quietly. He nods and follows her to Alpha Medical. She checks the chart on the wall to make sure her mother isn't there before going to get something out of her locker. She's zipping her backpack when she comes back out into the waiting room to get him. They visit with Sarah and Stanley and little no name for a while before going back to his apartment.

Her cheeks are rubbed red and still a little puffy when they get to the apartment, but Octavia knows better than to say anything. So, she hugs Clarke tightly, and tells her that she saved the water for her today, so that she could take a shower.

"You didn't have to do that" Clarke says, but even as she says it, she's reaching up and touching her oil-ridden hair. She asks if she's sure a couple of times and when Octavia promises that it's okay and Bellamy nods encouragingly, she gratefully accepts. Bellamy gives her sweatpants and a t-shirt to wear and she disappears into the bathroom.

When she comes out, Octavia is chopping left over bacon and adding it to a pan full of sizzling rice, moving it around with a spatula while Bellamy sets the table. She shoots them a small smile, and after being told she needn't help, goes over to the living room and sits on the floor in front of the couch, dropping her head back to rest on the couch, before pulling her backpack towards her.

Octavia gives the spatula and dinner-making duties to Bellamy before going to the bedroom and getting her brush and a hair tie. She sits on the couch behind Clarke and starts brushing her hair, making easy conversation. Clarke laughs a little when Octavia snags on a particular tangle before giving up on it. She tries to braid Clarke's hair the way Bellamy does for her sometimes, but when Bellamy says dinner is ready and they stand, even she can see that the braid is bad, though no one says it. Bellamy does laugh when he sees it though and Octavia pouts a little.

After they eat, Clarke insists on doing the dishes, so Bellamy and Octavia go to the living room. He sits on the couch and she sits on the arm chair and they play a card game that Clarke doesn't understand. She gets her tablet from her backpack before she sits down on the couch. "Want us to deal you in?" Bellamy asks, groaning when Octavia flips over a card that must not be good for him.

"I think I'll watch" she says quietly and they nod. She laughs a little at their reactions as they play and isn't able to pick up on the rules at all. Octavia goes to bed after a while. Once she's down the hall, Bellamy explains that never leaving the apartment gives her a weird sense of time and she sleeps kind of a lot. It makes sense to Clarke. He asks her if she's tired and she smiles a little, "I want to watch a movie" she says and he nods, reaches for the tablet on the other side of the coffee table. When he turns back to her though, she's holding out her tablet. It's has thousands of movies on it, most of which he's never seen. She clicks to a tab marked 'Avery & Wells' before handing it to him, "I thought we could watch something you want to see" she says quietly.

He smiles up at her softly before looking down at the list. He picks, almost randomly, and sets the tablet up on the coffee table so they can both see. They watch quietly. She moves a little and the loose part of her braid snags on a button on the couch and she lets out a little noise of surprise before she untangles it. Bellamy laughs at her and she narrows her eyes at him, which only makes him laugh more. Octavia's brush is still on the coffee table, so he reaches around the tablet to pick it up. He holds it out, "May I?" he asks quietly and she blushes a little when she nods.

She moves to the floor and scoots to sit in front of him, stretching her legs out under the table while he pulls his up to the couch to sit cross-legged. He undoes the hair tie and pulls out the braid, fanning her hair across her back. He starts on a larger tangle, working his fingers through it before the brush. She leans her head back into his touch and he moves his fingers over her scalp and through her hair softly. It doesn't take him long to get all the tangles out, and he knows he should braid her hair and let her move back to the couch, but he lets his fingers play a little longer. Her head lulls easily in the direction of his movements.

The movie hits a quiet part and she tilts her head up so that she can see him, "I'm sorry about earlier" she almost whispers, if her movement hadn't caught his attention he knows he wouldn't have heard her.

He shakes his head a little, smiles, "It's fine" he assures her. She doesn't look convinced though, "Really, you've got a lot going on, and we've got a long way to go to really get to know each other, it's easy for a misunderstanding…" he trails off a bit. She reaches up and takes his hand for a moment, intertwining their fingers and squeezing gently before there is a train wreck on screen that has her turning back around to watch. His fingers slip back into her hair easily. He doesn't get it actually braided until the credits roll.

He insists that she take the bedroom this time, and after a few minutes she reluctantly agrees. He touches her arm lightly before she walks down the hall. He lays back on the couch and looks up at the ceiling, wondering how she became such a fixture in his life so quickly.

* * *

Clarke takes a slow lap around his room, taking it in before sitting on the bed. She feels guilty for her outburst in the hall and guilty that she's taking his room and guilty that she's falling apart and relying on people she hardly knows to hold her together. She scoots back quietly and lays down, pulling the blanket to her shoulders. She's surrounded by the scent of him, and though she's not sure why she finds that so comforting, she does.

Clarke wakes with a gasp, sitting before she's even awake and clutching at the blanket around her. She pulls in deep, heavy breaths, and tries to bring her erratic heart rate back down. She doesn't want to lay back down just yet, and glances around the room, looking for a clock. Her eyes settle, instead, on a row of books on the bottom shelf of the closet in his room. She thinks about it for a moment, wondering if it would bother him that she looks, before deciding to see what books he has. She slips out of bed and runs her finger along the touchpad on the wall, turning the lights in the room up just enough for her to be able to see, before crossing the room and sitting on the floor in front of the closet. She runs her fingers along the spines of the books, six of them in a neat row. Two of them look like they'll disintegrate under her fingers if she dares to touch them, so she gives them a wide berth and picks up the one on the end. It's a book on Greek Mythology, each chapter a different myth, she thumbs through it quietly until she hears a throat clear behind her and she lowers it to her lap, "busted" she whispers under her breath.

Bellamy chuckles lightly as he leans against the wall by the closet, "I saw the light" he explains.

"I'm sorry, I just couldn't sleep and I saw the books and…" she trails off.

"It's fine" Bellamy shrugs easily and she wonders if he's really not upset. He peers over her shoulder to see what book is in her lap, "That's Octavia's favorite" he tells her, the ghost of a smile on his lips while he's lost in a memory, "When she was young and had nightmares I read it to her until she fell asleep and she said she'd dream about Greek Gods keeping her safe".

Clarke smiles, wonders what kind of embarrassing stories Avery would tell about her if he could right now. Even though she hasn't the right, she holds the book out to him. He looks at it for a moment, while she worries that she's finally overstepped, before taking it and reaching out a hand to help her up as well. She sits on the bed and watches him for a moment, there isn't anywhere else to sit in the room, so he sits on the bed as well, his back against the wall and the book balanced on his outstretched legs.

They're not touching when Clarke lays back, not even especially close, really, but it still feels intimate to Clarke when she lays back. It's a long pause before he opens the book to a random story and starts to read. His voice is low and even and quiet and she can feel he rumble of it in her stomach. It's easy to let it lull her to sleep.

When she wakes up again, it's much less jarring. She blinks a few times, remembering where she is, when she realizes that she's not alone. Her head is on Bellamy's leg, his hand in her hair. He's still sitting on the bed, his back against the wall, his head tilted awkwardly back, book open and balancing precariously on his other leg. She knows she should go out to the living room, to spare them the weirdness of waking up together, but she just can't make herself leave. She feels warm and safe and so she leans up on her elbow to cup her hand around Bellamy's neck, tilting his head into a less awkward position and easing a pillow behind him before closing the book and easing it off of him and onto the bed and laying back down, curling around the heat of his body.

* * *

He wakes up wrapped around Clarke Griffin. There's no other way to describe it, really, he's lying on his side, his back arched against the wall and Clarke curled into him. They're both lying sideways on the bed and the blanket is only covering their feet. He tries to raise his head to look around, understand what happened, but he bangs it on the wall behind him. Clarke is blinking awake and turning to face him before he's really ready for it.

Her lazy, unfocused eyes drift towards him and he stammering out an apology before he really even knows what he's apologizing for. She smiles softly and shakes her head, the apples of her cheeks starting to pink, her voice is barely above a whisper, "Thank you…for helping me sleep". It gives them both the out they need right then and he nods a little, tucking a lock of her hair behind her ear as he sits.

They go out to the kitchen a make a breakfast of left-overs from the day before and Octavia comes out and joins them not long later. After they eat, Octavia gives Clarke a set of clothes to borrow for the day, and promises to wash hers – Clarke insists that it's unnecessary, but Octavia won't hear it. He's off work that day, so he goes with her to the medical center. They sit in the same corner they did that first day and whispers stories back and forth until they've been there for hours and a doctor is walking towards them.

They both stand and Clarke takes a few steps forward. Bellamy hangs back, not wanting to interrupt or intrude, but Clarke looks around, almost frantically, until her eyes land on him and he takes a few tentative steps forward. She reaches out and slips her hand into his and he intertwines their fingers. He watches Clarke's face as the doctor tells her that Avery is out of surgery, but still unconscious. They don't expect him to wake until the following day. Clarke asks all kinds of technical questions that go completely over his head, and she's gripping his hand so hard it almost hurts. She has an excitement, bubbling up just under the surface, the doctor keeps trying to temper it with worrying statistics about brain damage and paralysis, but Clarke refuses to be reined in.

They stop by Stanley and Sarah's apartment on their way back to his place, to visit with them and the baby. They only stay a little while – long enough for her to tell them about Avery and coo at the baby a bit. On the walk to his apartment he mentions that they really need to give that poor kid a name and Clarke gives him a look that he knows means he's missing something. She explains it like he's slow and it grates his nerves a bit, but he listens to her anyway; "I'm pretty sure they had a name, but after the accident," she swallows, not quite looking at him, "I think they were waiting, so if Avery died they could name her after him". He wants to argue, tell her that it's morbid and crazy. But, he's really not sure she's wrong, so they make the rest of the walk in silence.

When they get back to the apartment and tell Octavia the good news, she throws herself at Clarke in a hug and Bellamy watches with a chuckle. The three of them make dinner together, then later Clarke washes dishes while Bellamy changes clothes and Octavia picks a movie on Clarke's tablet. Clarke changes into the same clothes she slept in the night before then joins Bellamy on the couch, across from Octavia, settling in for the movie, which Octavia starts immediately. Excited for one she hasn't yet seen.

When she collapses on the couch, she doesn't give much thought to how close to him she sits, but once the movie starts and she becomes aware of the feeling of his body heat seeping into her she tenses a little. He must notice, because he shifts a little, but he's at the end of the couch with nowhere to go, leaving Clarke to decide if she wants to move away or stay where she is. She takes a steadying breath as she decides, pulling her legs under her and scooting back on to the couch, leaning her head against Bellamy's shoulder. For a moment, he's completely still and she starts to panic, thinking she's made a huge miscalculation, until his arm folds around her shoulder and she relaxes into him.

They're about halfway through the movie, Bellamy is mid-sentence ('no one would actually do that, I mean -') when an alarm attached to the wall starts to go off. Clarke is startled and a little terrified, but Octavia and Bellamy seem pretty nonplused, Octavia going to the wall to shut it off before pushing the table into the wall and pulling at a grate in the floor. Bellamy is grabbing a blanket from the couch when Octavia's panicked voice fills the room, "Bell, I can't, it's stuck". She's tugging on the grate as hard as she can and it takes Clarke that long to figure out that this is where Octavia hides – how she has stayed alive. She hadn't asked, and they hadn't told her – with everything else going on, she hadn't thought that it mattered…until this moment.

Bellamy goes and tries to open the grate, his face a mix of annoyance and panic. It will only open about six inches, not nearly enough for Octavia to slide in. They can just hear the footfalls of the guards coming towards the apartment and Clarke grabs Octavia's hand, dragging her down the hall in a moment that reminds her of the Masquerade. She pushes Octavia into a closet, even as both Blake's argue that it won't work, and pulls at Aurora's clothes until they semi-hide her, even though Clarke knows that if a guard opens the closet door, it will do no good. Bellamy doesn't like it, but he can't think of anything better, so they force the grate closed again and pull the table from the wall. When the guard knocks on the door "Random Inspection!" booming into the room, Clarke leans against the back of the couch while Bellamy goes to the door. She holds his hand until he gets there, squeezing it to stop it from shaking, and drops it as he swings the door open.

Bellamy takes a step back from the door to allow it to open and for a moment he feels a little relieved, the guard that steps in, Nixon, is a good guy. Nixon steps over to the kitchen table and leans back against one of the chairs, he introduces himself to Clarke, but doesn't ask why she is there – which they both appreciate, and makes chit chat with Bellamy. They're waiting for the Cadet that is shadowing this this week, who got caught up in the hall. When he Cadet comes in, swinging the door shut behind him, Bellamy rolls his eyes a little before he's even all the way inside. Zeke is kind of an over-achieving jack ass. Zeke makes a big show of looking around the kitchen and the living room while Nixon, unimpressed, talks with Bellamy about his shift assignments for the week.

Zeke walks down the short hallway, looking in the bathroom before poking his head in the bedrooms, one by one. Bellamy struggles to keep his conversation with Nixon casual. Zeke starts to walk into Aurora's bedroom and though he has no idea what he's going to do, he starts to shift his weight to cross over to him until, "Zeke, I had no idea you were a Cadet" her voice is a faux innocent and Zeke must just be seeing her for the first time, because he smiles and walks out of Aurora's room and towards Clarke.

Bellamy is stuck talking to Nixon, but he tries to keep an ear on Clarke and Zeke's conversation. He ends up catching every third word or so.

"I had forgotten you moved to Factory with Avery" Zeke said, stopping closer to her than is comfortable. She just smiles though, nods a little, "What are you doing here?" he asks looking around the apartment as if he just stumbled on her in the most ludicrous place.

She feels like she needs to keep it vague, "I'm sure you heard about the explosion at the Factory work station," she waits for him to nod, "Avery is in Medical"

"Well, what did he expect when he left Alpha?" he says it so casually that it takes Clarke a moment to catch up. When she processes what he said, she wants to hit him, but instead she digs her fingernails into the palms of her hands and waits for him to shrug a little.

"I only live a few doors down, Bellamy made dinner for me, so I wouldn't eat alone" she says, watching his face for reaction.

"Clarke, you didn't have to do that, if your mother is working just come up to Alpha, there are a lot of people you could eat with" his tone is completely patronizing and self-satisfied and she balls her fist tighter, feels skin start to break under her fingernails and blood rush to the surface.

"Yeah…this is just…close…" she stammers a bit around what she wants to say and what is smart to say in the moment. She remembers her mother telling her once that her biggest problem in life was that she couldn't separate the two, wonders idly if she'd be proud right now. She looks over at Bellamy and wonders if it would have been smarted to say that they were together, but she hadn't wanted to raise more questions. She can't help the noise that comes from the back of her throat when the tip of Zeke's index finger trails down her cheek.

That pulls the attention of Nixon and Bellamy and she forces herself to giggle a little, "Sorry, I…I smashed my thumb in the couch" she gestures a little to the back of the couch, where a hole in the upholstery reveal a spot of bare metal, she only thinks of it so quickly because it actually happened a day ago. Nixon asks of she's alright and she nods.

"That's our que then" he answers, clasps Bellamy's shoulder, "See you tomorrow" Bellamy nods back. Zeke says that he hadn't been done looking around, but Nixon ushers him out. Clarke waves a little from her spot, still leaning on the couch. As soon as the door closes and the click of the magnetic lock slides into place, they both turn and run for the closet.

In his haste, Bellamy throws a couple things on the floor to get to Octavia faster and pulls her out and directly into his arms. She's crying a little, but she smiles at Clarke over Bellamy's shoulder anyway. Clarke nods back. After a few minutes, Bellamy says that he's going to go work on the floor grate, and that Octavia should get some sleep. Octavia nods, arms wrapped tightly around herself, tears still gathering quietly in the corner of her eye.

Clarke can see how freaked out Octavia still is, so she directs Octavia to the bed and pulls the blankets up to her chin when she lays down. Octavia laughs lightly and watches Clarke sit on the other side, her back against the wall and her legs folded under her. They talk quietly about meaningless things; what movie they might watch tomorrow or how Clarke thinks she might cut her hair until Octavia's words start coming slower and farther between and Clarke stops talking, letting Octavia drift off.

When she walks out of the bedroom she pulls the door shut behind her, so Bellamy working won't disturb her. He's got various tools spread out in front of him and he's got the floor grate lifted like a hatch, but the crow bar at her feet tells her that it had to pried. She watches him for a moment, leaning against the doorframe, as he pokes at the hinges with a screwdriver, trying to adjust them. Each time, he pulls at the grate and it makes a heinous sound – it obviously won't go back down now that it's up. He throws his screw driver and it lands a couple inches from her feet, "Shit" he runs his hand through the hair at the back of his neck, "Shit, sorry, I didn't know you were there"

She shakes her head, picks up the screw driver and walks over, sitting down on the floor and letting her feet swing into the hole in the floor he's standing in. "Sorry" he says again, his hand on her knee and she smiles softly, whispers that it's okay. She asks if he needs to be alone when he fixes things, explains that her father was like that sometimes, if a job was complicated or time sensitive he liked to be alone to do it. He promises that he doesn't need her to leave, a teasing smile playing on his lips, so she nods a bit and settles in. He takes her hand, and she doesn't understand what's happening until, "Did you really smash your thumb again?" and he uncurls her fingers from her palm. She tries to pull her hand away, laugh it off, but he's already staring at the half-moon indents and dried blood on her palm. "Clarke?" he makes her name into a question before his eyes rise up to meet hers.

She tries to force a smile, shrugs a little, and pulls her hand back to her chest. He puts his hand on her cheek, searches her eyes for a moment, before pulling himself out of the floor and going to the kitchenette and wetting a towel. He comes back and jumps into the cavity in the floor, walking over to Clarke to stand just between her legs and tugging her hand from her chest to him. He cleans off the blood and presses the cool cloth into the cuts for a moment before he brings her hand to his lips and kisses the outer edge of her palm lightly. She pulls in a sharp intake of breath and blinks away the tears that pool in her eyes at the gentleness of him. He looks up at her, brushes his thumb over her cheek and steps closer to her to wrap his arms around her waist. She sags into him, her arms around his shoulders and her face pressed into the crook of his neck. "Do you want to talk about it?" he asks in a whisper.

She shakes her head a little, "Not right now" she whispers back. He nods as he steps back from her personal space.

He squeezes her knee softly as he turns to go back to trying to fix the hatch. Every so often he'll ask her to hand him something out of his reach and she'll lean over to grab it and pass it to him. It reminds her a little of when she was small and she'd 'help' her dad fix things around the Ark. She looks down into the cavity and can't believe that Octavia spends time trapped in there, can't even imagine how she has to fold her body and hold awkward positions just to stay alive. She's pulled out of her thoughts when Bellamy reaches up and tries the door, lowering it a little then pressing it open again to test its movements. He stops and stares at the hinges for a long moment so she reaches out and tugs on his shirt a little. "This could have been really bad" he says, still looking at the floor.

"Yeah" Clarke agrees, it could have been terrible, "But it wasn't, and now it's fixed" she says, tugs his sleeve again until he steps over to her. He stands between her legs again and his hand grips her hip. "It all turned out okay" she reminds him and when she feels the weight of his forehead drop to her shoulder, she reaches up and threads her fingers through his hair at the nape of his neck.

He straightens up, but she keeps her hand in his hair, her wrist resting on his shoulder, "Can I ask you something?" he asks quietly, waits for her to nod before, "What made you help us – when you figured it out, whenever you figured it out, you could have turned us in…hell, you could have done nothing and we would have considered that a kindness, but you helped us…why?"

Clarke shrugs a little, plays with the short hairs at the back of his neck while she thinks, "I don't know, I've never really thought about it" he laughs a little, his thumb tracing small circles on her hip, "I guess I just thought it was unfair, first that Octavia would never be able to leave this room, then that you couldn't eat so she could, and all of the other things about having to hide her." She swallows a little, "I don't know what actually made me try to help, but I know that's why I wanted to"

He smiles and moves fractionally closer to her, presses his forehead against hers and for a moment they just stay like that, pressed together and sharing the same oxygen. Her free hand comes up to cup his cheek and then his lips touch hers and she knows that she will remember this moment for the rest of her life. His arms wrap around her as they kiss and he threads one hand in her hair and the other wraps around her to hold her the small of her back, his hand resting against her skin under her shirt. They both pull back panting and smiling. They should talk about, and they both know that, but they're both exhausted, so Bellamy pulls himself out of the cavity in the floor and pulls Clarke to her feet. He closed the hatch and piles his tools up in the corner, but leaves them before leading Clarke to his room. He folds back the blankets and she lays down first, before he climbs in next to her. He kisses her lightly, wondering if this will be something he's just allowed to do now, and smiles at the thought, before pulling her towards him and lulling her to sleep with his hand in her hair.

* * *

Please Review :-


	4. Observations

Chapter Four: Observations

He wakes up before her, laying on his back with her head on his chest and his arm around her. Her hair is splayed out against him and he smiles a little, tilting his head to press his lips to the top of her head before sweeping her hair to one side so he can see her face. She is calm and serene in sleep and he is content to just lay there until she wakes up. It doesn't take long for that to happen, Octavia drops something in the kitchen and she's blinking her eyes wide just after. Her cheeks go pink when she looks at their position and she sits slowly. He follows and she starts to stammer a little about last night, so he slides a hand around to rest against the back of her neck and gives her a long moment to pull away so that if the clarity that comes with sleep has changed her mind she can, but when her wide eyes just stare back at him he leans forward and presses his lips to her's softy. He smiles a little against her when she scoots closer and brings up her hand to rest on his chest.

When they pull back, she rests her forehead against his chest and he runs his hand over her back lightly. The alarm clock next to the bed sounds and she starts a little before he turns it off. He knows she's anxious to get to medical for when Avery wakes up, so he kisses her forehead softly, "We'll figure it all out later" she nods a little in response and then a grin breaks across her face.

After they go to the kitchen to see Octavia cooking, they take turns changing clothes then eat with Octavia at the folded-out table in the kitchenette. When they leave, they walk together until the hallway to Alpha branches out and he has to follow that to the main Guard Station and they stop. She shifts her weight between her feet self-consciously and he just smiles and touches her shoulder lightly before he whispers 'good luck today' and turns. He wants to kiss her then, but knows that once someone sees them and takes that information back to the council, back to her mother, there will be a lot of questions for her to answer, and a lot of interest in him. So, he makes his way to the guard station while she goes to Factory Medical.

* * *

When she gets to the Medical outpost, the nurse at the entrance catches her attention, and tells her what room Avery is in, tells her she can go on back. She smiles gratefully and all but runs through the doors and down the hall. She gets to his door and pauses, only for a second, before pulling it open and stepping inside. She lets gravity push the door shut behind her and stands in the middle of the room. He's still asleep, machines beeping around him, his right leg in an air cast and his ribs wrapped tight under his shirt. He's covered in cuts and bruises and there's a long line of stitches down his right forearm and bandage tapped over his temple. She crosses the room quietly and slowly, sitting in the chair to the side of his bed and reaching out to touch his hand softly. He's a bit cool to the touch, and she feels tears well in her eyes, even though she knows that to be normal. It's the first time she's been able to really see him since the explosion, and even though it had been all she wanted, she finds herself unprepared for it.

She doesn't want to sit next to her best friend and cry, so she starts to talking instead. She talks about Bellamy, and how he's been taking care of her since the explosion, how he'd touched her face when he kissed her and it made her feel safe and warm. How she thought she might be falling in love with him, and was that silly – since they didn't really know each other yet?

She falls silent when footsteps approach the door and the doctor pushes his way in. His name is Dylan, but though Clarke has seen him before, in her training, she hasn't ever really known him. He gives her a reassuring smile and holds up a prepared syringe, telling Clarke that the contents will allow him to wake when his body is ready – she already knows this, but appreciates hearing it all the same. While Dylan is pushing the drugs into Avery's vein, he gives her a rundown of his injuries and the possible side effects to his recovery. She nods, watches Avery's face for any sign of movement, frowns a bit when she can't find any. She knows that it could be minutes or hours before he wakes, but wishes she didn't have to wait. Dylan pats her shoulder awkwardly when he leaves, promises to check in soon and tells her that if he wakes, or his conditions otherwise changes his comm device will be tell him and he'll be back in quickly. She just nods, closes her eyes tightly when the door falls shut behind him.

She doesn't know what else to do, and won't let falling apart be an option, so she just keeps talking. She talks about Bellamy and she talks about Octavia (doesn't mentions her connection to Bellamy for fear of someone listening in) and talks about baby-no-name and how adorable she it. As she talks, she feels like too much has happened for it only to have been three days.

When he wakes, it's not like she'd hoped it'd be, it's not gentle. He goes from sleeping to thrashing about in his bed so quickly that Clarke scrambles to her feet, her chair clanking over behind her. He's panicked and reaching for the tube in his throat with his left hand, so she leans over to him to grab his hand and she comes into his field of vision and their eyes meet, she can find no hint of recollection in his. Dylan comes in, grabbing a syringe from the drawer and pushing it into his arm. Avery's muscles react immediately, going still and heavy as the sedative makes its way through his system. He doesn't fall back asleep, but he is quiet and pliable, his head lulling to the side as his eyes focus on different things in turn.

Dylan explains that the reaction is not common, but does happen from time to time. Which, again, Clarke knows but it still helps to hear. She's tells Dylan that she's not sure he recognizes her and he nods slowly when he says that it's a possibility he won't. She looks at him like he's crazy and he nods a little, tells her that it'll be a bit before the sedative wares off and that maybe she should go collect herself before he goes.

At first, she thinks that's crazy, but when she rights the over turned chair and sits down and Avery looks at her like she's a stranger she swallows past a growing lump in her throat and stands, brushing a kiss to his forehead lightly and whispering that she'll be back soon. She tells the nurse where she's going when she passes and that she'll be back in a bit, she gets a sympathetic nod in return.

* * *

Bellamy decides to use to lunch break to check on Clarke. He doesn't get a lot of time, but figures that she won't be in a position to talk much anyway. When he comes into the Medical Center he doesn't see her and thinks that it's probably a good sign, that she's probably with Avery. The nurse at the stand by the entrance recognizes him from sitting with Clarke before and tells him that she's not sure what happened, but Clarke had seemed shaken up. Bellamy thanks her when she tells him where to find Clarke.

* * *

Bellamy has never been on the Observation Deck, and even now it's only his Cadet's badge that allows him entrance. He hopes, idly, that his badge isn't one picked for random audit this week, as he'll have no reason for having been here. He's a little awestruck when he goes in, stars rushing in at every angle – he can see why the room is used for special occasions. He looks around – there are a few people walking with kids and an older couple sitting at a bench, it takes him a moment to find her. At the top level, leaning on a railing and looking out at the stars. He climbs a set of stairs and crosses a metal bridge to get to her.

She looks at him for a moment before she speaks, her voice and her eyes alittle watery when she does, "Did you know that I hate peas?" she asks, aiming for conversationally, but not quite making it, he shakes his head a little and she nods, "When we were kids, Avery told me that they were rat brains, and I was like 97 percent sure that was bull shit, but I never ate them again – just to be safe" she laughs a little, but a few tears have fallen, ruining the effect. "And," she starts a little too loud, realizes her mistake when the older couple look their direction, "and, I was afraid of aliens until I was like ten" she's quitter now, "and I was so bad at math when I was young, Avery and Wells would stay up all night to help me with it sometimes, and I -" her voice breaks and she turns to look out of the massive window next to her. She pulls her hand across her cheeks, sniffles a little and presses against the hand rail she was leaning on, to straighten up, "And if the only person who knows everything about you…doesn't anymore, then…do you…exist? Do you matter? Are you even…" she trails off when Bellamy lays his hand on her elbow and tugs her towards him. She lets herself be pulled and burrows into his chest when she feels his arms circle her.

"Clarke, what happened?" he asks quietly, running one hand up and down her back.

"He woke up, but I don't think…he doesn't remember me" she whispers, her words jumbling a little since they come pressed out against his shirt.

"He will" Bellamy whispers against her hair. And even though he has no way of knowing that, she lets herself believe him, nodding against his chest a little. He presses a kiss to the top of her head before he pulls back enough to pull his thumb across her cheek and gather the tears there.

He walks her back to the Medical Station not long later and smiles encouragingly when she goes inside. She goes straight to Avery's room and sits down in the chair by his bed. It takes a moment for his eyes to find and focus on her and she makes a point to smile a bit when they do. She curls up, so that she fits entirely in the chair and rests her head on her knees, watching Avery carefully. His eyes are heavy and he looks around slowly before his blinks start to be longer and slower. He doesn't fall back to sleep, exactly, but he doesn't quite seem awake either.

This time, when he comes back to reality, it's a lot gentler. His eyes go frantic, searching his surroundings urgently, but he reaches a hand out to Clarke and seems comforted when she takes it and explains where he is in a gentle voice. Dylan comes in, warm and friendly, talking to Avery and removing the tube in his throat, handing him a water when he's done. Clarke is anxious for Dylan to leave, so that she can really see Avery, but it's a lot of tests and explanations before that happens.

When they're finally alone, Clarke feels more unsure and nervous than she's ever felt with Avery. Avery must sense it, because she feels the back of his hand hit against her shoulder and she looks at him, "Do you remember when you sprained your ankle running in the hall and I half convinced you that your foot was going to fall off? You tried to hold it on without me seeing because you didn't want me to know it worked?" His voice is thick and brittle with disuse and it cracks over every other word, but the story serves its purpose easily.

Tears well in Clarke's eyes and she opens and closes her mouth a few times before so whispers, "I didn't think you remembered" He smiles at her, reaches out his hand as much as he can so that she'll take it, she does and squeezes it lightly, "I didn't think you remembered me" she clarifies and he rolls his eye, big and dramatic.

"Don't be ridiculous" he says even though it's not ridiculous, even though it was a possibility, even though there was a moment where he looked at her and couldn't quite place her. It's not what either wants to focus on now, so they don't.

Clarke pulls out her comm and sends a message to Bellamy telling him that Avery remembers her and that she's going to stay at the Medical Center. She's a little unsure about it, because it feels presumptuous to tell him that she won't be over, but she smiles when she gets 'told you so. See you tomorrow' back. She's putting her comm back in her pocket, ignoring Avery's sing-song "who was thattt?" when it vibrates and she pulls it back up to read the message, rolling her eyes when she sees it's from her mother, this time when Avery says "who was thattt?" his voice is straight out of an over-exaggerated horror movie.

She laughs a little and turns the comm so Avery can read the screen, 'I'm glad that Avery is okay, we'll expect you to resume your normal work schedule this Saturday'. Clarke isn't upset about having to go back to work in a few days, she knows that she got more time than a lot of other people with loved ones effected by the explosion. She's angry that her mother never came and asked her how Avery was. She's angry that her mother sent Avery to the Factory Medical Station when his injuries had more than justified Alpha. She's angry that her mother never checked on Avery, even though she had apparently been keeping tabs on him.

Clarke and Avery talk until he starts to doze off and she laughs a little, tucking her feet under her in the chair and resting her head against the back of the chair.

* * *

They are woken by Dylan who comes in during the early morning to check on Avery's vitals. Clarke stretches before she stands, but her legs still almost give out when she puts her weight on them, after having been tucked under her all night. Avery laughs at her while Dylan tries to stifle a laugh of his own. Her cheeks tinge the tiniest bit pink as she paces the length of the room to try to get feeling back in her legs. They have to do some tests so she goes to wait outside.

When they let her back in a few hours later, she brings Stanley and Sarah and baby-no-name with her. Avery lights up when Sarah hands him the baby and they all talk for a while before Clarke excuses herself to give them time alone. She goes to the Alpha cafeteria to get something to take back to Avery but sees Wells at a table and goes to sit across from him. He jumps up when he sees her, hugs her tightly, and then they sit back down. "I'd been meaning to come see you, but I thought you'd be…busy" he struggles for the right word and Clarke waves off his apology and they slip into easy conversation.

* * *

Bellamy is cutting through the Alpha cafeteria to get to a work assignment when he catches sight of Clarke out of the corner of his eye. He stops, somehow unprepared to have come across her here. He notices that she's sitting with Wells Jaha, shaking her head and laughing at something he's said and he isn't sure that interrupting them…putting himself on a Jaha's radar is something that would be smart for him. So, he passes behind the table, behind Clarke, he intends to touch the back of her shoulder when he does, just to let her know that he was there and keep walking. But, he hears Wells say "I think you just have to be careful with people like that, that they're desperate enough to be dangerous, and I don't want you to be in that kind of a situation, even though you think it's what you want right now" Bellamy is sure that Wells is talking about him and his undefined relationship with Clarke, so he hurries past their table, glancing over his shoulder to make sure Clarke didn't see him – she didn't, she's still nodding along in conversation with Wells.

* * *

When Clarke gets back to the Medical Center, Stanley is just leaving so she goes in and plops on a chair by Avery, tossing him an apple, "So…tell me about Bellamy" is the first thing Avery says.

"Wow, Stanley is _such_ a snitch" she answers, but she's smiling, so it kind of undercuts the effect. She fiddles a little with her hands, scraping at imaginary dirt from under her fingernails and not meeting Avery's eye. Avery clears his throat dramatically and laughs, "I dunno, I like him" she mumbles, her cheeks pink.

* * *

When Dylan comes back in, he tells them that they want to do a sleep study on Avery, in hopes that he will be able to go home soon, so Clarke won't be able to stay the night. She makes a big show of being glad she won't have to sleep in the uncomfortable chair again, but when the time comes to actually leave she finds that she has a little bit of a hard time with it. Avery tells her to "beat it…and bring me breakfast in the morning" and she laughs a little watery while she nods and leaves.

* * *

It's earlier than she thought, she realizes when she steps into the hall and looks at her father's watch. She realizes that it's about time for the shift change and goes to Alpha, finding herself at the Main Guard Station. She props herself up to sit on the railing across from the door and waits. When the cadets start to file out, they all look exhausted and sweaty and she wonders what kind of drills they'd been running that day. She shifts self-consciously while she looks between them for Bellamy; she doesn't know what they are to each other, or if he'd want to see her after a long day, and she wonders if she should leave. She loses that option though, when he rounds the corner to the hallway and their eyes meet. He waves to whoever he was walking with and crosses the hallway to Clarke, stopping about half a foot from her. She jumps down from the railing and whispers a "Hey"

He nods, "Hi". She's about to say something else when one of the other cadets leans over into their space and says something to Bellamy that Clarke can't hear. He rolls his eyes and shoves the guy lightly in response then turns his attention back to Clarke. The hallway is pretty well cleared out when he says "What are you doing here?". It's not harsh when he says it, more like curiosity, but she still finds herself a little taken aback by the question.

She glances around to see if the hallway is empty and when she sees that it is, she reaches out and takes his hand, smiling when his fingers curl around hers, liking the comfort that comes with physical contact. "I just wanted to see you" she mumbles, taking a half step closer to him.

Wells' words to Clarke from earlier still sit heavy and worrisome on him, but with Clarke in front of him, looking up at him from under her eye lashes, it's hard to anything but tug her towards him and lead her back to his apartment. He drops her hand as they start to walk, not wanting to cross paths with anyone like that, but she stays so close to him that he can feel her body heat all the way back to Factory.

He waves his key card to get it to his apartment and tells the empty air that it's safe to come out, Octavia emerges from Aurora's room just after. Octavia runs past him to get to Clarke; to ask her how Avery is and jump up and down a little when Clarke says that she thinks he is going to be okay. "And, I don't have to go back to work until Saturday, so I have a little time…" she says shrugging. She tries to move closer to Bellamy but he takes an unconscious shuffle step away and Clarke's brow furrows.

Octavia gives a little "yay" and Bellamy chuckles when he walks past her, touching her elbow lightly to try to tell her to calm down before saying that he is going to get a shower. Octavia and Clarke nod easily and as he is closing the bathroom door, he hears Octavia pulling Clarke into helping with dinner.

When he gets out of the bathroom, he's wearing an old t-shirt that Octavia has sewn back together several times and different colored thread chris-crosses his shoulders and a long pair of terry-cloth pants. He is going to his bedroom to hang his towel when he sees Clarke sitting on the edge of his bed. "What's up?" he says hesitantly, hanging the towel and turning to face her.

She's quiet for a long moment and he starts to shift his weight around a little under her gaze. "I don't know" she admits softly, "I just…I guess something felt off with…" she gestures between them a few times, "Not that we're…I mean I know we never talked about…" she shakes her head a little, pauses and takes a deep breath, "I just wanted to make sure that we're okay" she says finally, looking up at him.

He sighs a little and crosses the room to sit next to her on the bed, far enough apart that they aren't touching. Clarke looks at him with big, inquisitive eyes, and he blows out a long breath before he speaks, "If you hadn't run into Octavia that day in the hallway, do you think we ever would have met?". The question has weighed heavy on him since her overheard her with Wells and it comes out before he can stop it.

Clarke kind of half shrugs, "I don't know…does it matter?" she asks quietly, reaching across the space between them to touch his hand.

He doesn't mean to exactly, but he flinches a little when her skin touches his. She pulls her hand back like she's been burnt and tears well in her eyes quickly. He wants, so badly, to reach over and pull her to him – his chest feels tight with how much he wants that, but he knows that if he feels this much for her now, that it will only grow given time. And he can't let himself fall any deeper for a girl that is going to come to her senses any day and realize that this isn't actually what she wants. "We've probably passed each other in the hall way hundreds of times, and never even spoken" he says, looking in front of himself and not at her.

He can see her nod a little out of his prereferral, "I don't really understand why that matters" she whispers.

He pulls in a deep breath and forces himself to turn and look at her, "I just don't know if this is something you want, or something you think you want right now because things are hard right now", Clarke blinks a few times, her tears falling down her cheeks in big, silent, trails. She opens and closes her mouth a few times and something twists painfully in his chest. She looks at him like he's betrayed her and in that moment, he wants nothing more than to take it all back and to be having dinner with Clarke and O, instead of having this conversation.

"I'm not…I don't really…" she pauses and pulls in a deep, shaky breath, screwing her eyes shut for a moment to try to stop her tears, "I don't really know what I did to make you think that" she says.

He doesn't say anything, because she hasn't really done anything to make him think that. He sighs softly and wonders if he hadn't overheard her and Wells, if he'd be questioning their undefined relationship at all. He realizes that he hadn't heard whatever Clarke's response was to Wells in the cafeteria either and starts to wonder if he just blew up something great over nothing. He wonders if her coming to her senses in a week or a month would really be worse than him doing this before they had a chance to find out if it could ever work between them.

He's never really believes that he deserved to have anything remarkable at all, and he'd always believed that Octavia's existence meant that he would never fall into any kind of meaningful relationship. And all of that was always mostly okay with him…until Clarke. And now he wonders if he's running his chance with her over nothing. He drags his hand over his face and into his hair, rubbing at the back of his neck when he swallows thickly, "You're right" he says quietly, "You're right, you didn't do anything" he adds, turning to face her. "I'm sorry".

She looks at him, hurt and confusion etched on her face and he hates himself in that moment. He reaches out, slowly, until his hand cups her cheek lightly. She tenses for a moment, and he's sure she's going to jerk away from him but she doesn't, she doesn't move at all as he traces his thumb under her eye to collect the tears that are falling. "I'm really sorry" he whispers, scooting along the side of the bed until they are right next to each other and he can lean his forehead down on hers.

She lets him kiss her forehead, and wipe away her tears, and whisper 'I'm sorry' into her hair, even lets him wrap his arms around her and pull her tight against his chest, but she doesn't move at all. She tries to breath deep and even until her tears stop and she can focus again. She brings her hand up and fists it in Bellamy's shirt, feels his hand rubbing slow soft circles on her back as she does. She hates that even though he's the one that upset her, he's also the one she wants to make her feel better. Octavia yells that dinner is ready from the other room and Clarke pulls back from Bellamy slowly. He looks at her with unguarded eyes, for maybe the first time ever and she knows that he is asking for forgiveness. She pushes on the bed a little for leverage so she can lean up and kiss him lightly, his hand fists in her hair, even though the kiss only lasts a moment. "Can we maybe talk about this later tonight?" she asks, a little proud of herself when her voice only wavers a little.

He swallows when he nods and they go out into the main room to have dinner with Octavia.

* * *

Dinner is an easy affair, Octavia asks questions about Avery and his recovery and lets Clarke go into way too much detail and medical jargon when she explains. For the first time since Avery's accident, Clarke eats enough to be full and smiles through dinner, it's a relief for Bellamy to see even though he and Clarke don't talk much during the meal. He's not sure if Octavia notices that or not; she's so used to being the center of things at home that he's not sure if her being the one doing all the talking quite registers with her – it's certainly not abnormal.

After dinner, Clarke disappears to change clothes for bed, she's gone for so long that Bellamy is sure she decided to sleep else ware and was trying to figure out what to say. He debates going and knocking on the door and telling her that it's okay, that he understands that he messed up and that he'll cover for her with Octavia until he can figure out what to tell her. She comes out though, in his sweat pants and t-shirt, baggy on her. Her face is red and a little swollen and he hates himself. She manages a bright smile for Octavia though, when she tells her that she's setting out a board game. He wants to tell Octavia that they'll play another night and that this isn't the time, but he's painfully aware of how alone Octavia is all day and how she looks forward to the evenings and he just…can't. So, he sits next to Clarke on the couch while Octavia sits across from them in the chair and sets up the game.

The game is missing some of its pieces, so Bellamy and Octavia have made replacements over the years with whatever they had, so that they could keep playing. Clarke picks up a little person, shaped with aluminum foil and a little piece of paper with a drawn smiley face stuck on the top. She shows it to him with a 'seriously' expression and puts it back down with a giggle. She starts to lean towards him, then seems to remember herself and leans back into her own space. He feels his chest tighten, wants so badly to pull her towards him, rubs his hand against the short hair at the back of his neck instead.

They play through the game three times, Octavia wins twice and Clarke wins once. Bellamy is so distracted that he can hardly keep track of when it's his turn to play. After the third game, Bellamy says that "Some of us have to work in the morning, O" and Octavia makes a big show of rolling her eyes while Clarke helps her pack the board up, but she'd been yawning for the past thirty minutes anyway, so it's not that big of a deal. Octavia goes to lay down in Aurora's room and an awkward moment passes before Bellamy clears his throat lightly, "I can uh…I can sleep out here" he gestures to the couch and Clarke stands so he nods, thinking that she is going to walk past him to his room and sleep. She surprises him though, by taking his hand and tugging lightly, pulling him to his feet and then to his room. He allows himself to be pulled, following her easily. When they get to his room, she goes and sits on the edge of the bed. He closes his bedroom door and almost crosses to sit with her, but that feels to much like earlier, and he wants this to be different, so he leans back against his closed door instead.

Clarke looks up at Bellamy and wonders how she fell so hard for someone so fast, how their lives got so intertwined so quickly, and how she got so invested in a relationship so fast. She swallows and thinks about what he said earlier, if Avery being hurt and things being hard has made her need this – made her welcome something she otherwise might not have. Bellamy just watches her and she wonders what he's thinking before she swallows again and stands. She crosses so that she stands in front of him, close enough to touch even though she doesn't, "There was probably some truth in what you said earlier" she starts soft and slow and she watches his head drop a little, his face fall, and she's glad that at least she's not alone in her feelings. "Things probably escalated faster between us because I was upset and maybe I needed something, needed someone…" she looks away from him for a moment, because she doesn't want to cry. He's looking at the floor, so she's not sure he notices anyway, "…needed you" she sniffles a little and takes an unconscious half step towards him, he looks up at her and she is almost startled by how open and trusting and worried he looks. "I don't know if we ever would have met if Octavia hadn't come to the window that day, or if things would have worked out like this," she gestures between them a little, her hand touching his chest briefly when she does "if you hadn't come back to the Medical Center and sat with me the day Avery got hurt". She pauses, takes his hand and holds it between them, "But that is what happened, and I guess that I don't think the hypothetical matters" she says taking another half step forward.

Bellamy reaches his free hand out and grips her hip lightly. He wets his lips, and she can tell he's going to speak, so she puts her free hand on his cheek and hurries so that she can make sure she says everything she wants to, "I told Avery about you today" she laughs a little, self-conscious, "I told him that I liked you a lot and that I worried that I might like you more than you like me. I told him that you took care of me when I was sad and scarred." She kisses him, just once, light and quick, "I told him that you made me feel safe and warm" his hand snakes from her hip to around her waist, his hand landing on the small of her back, holding her to him, and his forehead dropping to rest on her shoulder. Her hand slides from his cheek to his hair, running her fingers through it lightly, "And I'm sorry that I didn't tell you that…maybe I was just nervous, but I should have…you should have known it".

Bellamy's hand fists tightly in her shirt at the small of her back and she wraps herself around him. He's spent his entire life thinking that he would never have anyone he could trust enough to tell about Octavia, that no one would ever care enough about him to want to try accommodate his massive secret anyway, that he wasn't worthy of someone's time or attention or care, that he was his sister's keeper and nothing more to anyone – ever. And though he knows that his insecurities don't excuse his actions, having Clarke stand in his arms and tell him that she cares about him, fixes something in Bellamy that he hadn't know was broken – it's like he feels something slide back into place within himself and he feels lighter somehow. He pulls back from Clarke just enough to put his hands on her face and looks at her, she has small quiet tears on her cheeks and she brings her hands up to hold his wrists gently. He kisses her forehead and realizes that he doesn't know what to say, "you don't like me more than I like you" is what comes out, but Clarke laughs, her fingers tightening against his wrists and he thinks she understands all the same.

* * *

...Just the epilogue left after this! Please review!


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